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The last edition was with a New year’s wish and with this edition, I get to find out how half of that year has been for you guys. Nice, right ? No ? Ok…

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RECAP: One’s mum unearths the telephonic secrets of One and myself, and scared One caveman-style. The Mavericks gatecrash into One’s house to demand civil rights to visitation. Meanwhile, One’s parents exercise their right of speech and file a complaint with the correspondent. After a marathon negotiation meeting, we get away with…nothing, not before our parents were enlightened by their junior’s engagements. In school, Yats educated DM on Akki’s wanky ways and Harish makes a special appearance in school. Now, the rest….

Back to reality !

Dad: I heard the news.

Me: What did they say ? Whats the weather forecast for tomorrow ?

Dad: How shameless can you be !

I realised it was a rhetorical question and skipped answering.

Dad: Did you go to her house as well ?

Me: No. But I wish I did.

Dad: What ???

Me: Yea, that way I could have stopped them from going crazy.

Dad: No. You were stupid. You should have gone alone and spoken to her parents. That way you can have a conversation and not a street fight.

Me: Facing her mum alone ? Are you kidding me ? If I die, there wont even be anyone to bear witness to the fact that I went missing.

Dad: You think too much, thats your problem. You need to look at the root cause and solve that first. That could take care of everything else.

I stayed quiet.

Dad: How is One now ?

Me: Errr… havent spoken to her yet…

Dad: All the drama for this ? You didnt even bother finding out how she is!

Me: No, I will, I will.. tomorrow.

Dad: Funny you are. Now, (walking towards me….) are you guys in a relationship ?

Why would he ask that question standing right next to me ! What does he expect me to answer !

Me: No, ntn like that. Thats the whole point you see… am trying to explain to everyone.

Dad: Her parents might be a good start. (walks away).

Have you ever come across these seriously over-hyped events… a particular movie or a football game that everyone is so eager and then it is not as exciting as expected. Dad’s reaction was something like that.
A couple of lessons learnt for life: 1. Always tackle the root cause of the issue. 2. A third person can provide a clear perspective to things. Experience is your greatest teacher.

I straight away picked up the phone and called for Emergency services.

Yats: Whatever it is, keep it to 5 mins. Anything more, parents will get suspicious.

Me: Ok, lets talk tomorrow.

Yats: My mum wants to talk to you…now !

Me: Why do you do this Yats…

Aunty: How is that you always call during dinner time !

Me: Hello aunty, how are you ?

Aunty: Are you still talking to her ?

Honestly, I did not know the answer myself.

Me: No aunty….

Aunty: Good. And please make sure you dont get into any more trouble (stressing on the ‘more’).

Me: Sure aunty, good night.

Amazing how Aunty’s reaction to me and her actions on Yats (the slap) were visibly contrasting…. and all this while, I was thinking Yats’ red cheek was from him blushing. Damn.

Next Morning, at school :-

Me: Wait.

One: I dont want to talk to you. Go away. (and she went away).

Me: Jd, sup ?

JD: Dude, dont talk to me. Go away.

Is today some National Go Away day !

Me: Jd, stop the fuck. Whats wrong ?

JD: I saw you talking to One.

Me: Are you jealous ?

JD: Can I slap you ?

Me: No, you cant. I need to talk to her dude, thats the only way I can get answers.

JD: What answers ? How will they help now ? They are only gonna make matters worse.

He had a point. All of it.

Me: I still need to make sure she is fine.

JD: She almost got us suspended.

Me: WE, almost got ourselves suspended.

JD: Really ? you are gonna take her side now ?

Me: We are all in the same side.

JD: I dont care. All of us hate her. You can talk to the others now (and walked away).

Ok. Now, I need to console two people. I went to Yats.

Me: I got an idea.

Yats: Please. No more. I get really scarred when you come with ideas. Whats the idea anyways ?

Me: Solve the root cause ! Talk to her parents.

Yats: ……..

Me: We will talk to her parents.

Yats: We ?? When did it become ‘We’ ?

Me: Listen to this fully. I thought about it long last night. I realised we should focus on the root cause first. Tell her parents that me and her are just friends. That way, things will become transparent for them.

Yats: Why do you think they will believe you ?

Me: Err… if I say everything, wtf are you gonna do ? Think of something.

Yats: Hmmm… Akki !

Me: What about him now ?

Yats: Lets talk to him first. Then he will tell their parents. So they will absorb things easily from him.

Me: No, I was wanting to go to their house and…

Yats: Again ? After all this ? Why dont you just buy me some posion – that way, I at least get to die in my own house. (turning the other side)

Me: I love her.

Yats: What ? But you just said you guys are just friends…

Me: Arghhhh… thats what we tell their parents. This is what am telling you – I love her.

Yats: Nice….. Did you tell her ?

Me: Yes, she does too. She told me all that.

How pathetic is that ! The moment you tell your close friend about your love. This is supposed to be cherished, with a song in changing locations with bikes and stuff. Here was my special moment but the situation was just too fked up. Hell !

Yats: Hell ! What the…. When the…. Congrats man. But too sad, its over now.

Me: What ? Why ? No…

Yats: Kidding. Lets talk to Akki first then.

Me: Great, after the morning assembly.

(After the morning assembly…)

Me: I am sorry.

Ironic. Those were the first lines I ever spoke to Akki. His were :-

Akki: Its ok.

Yats: We did not mean to come across like that. But did not know there were guests at your place.

Akki: Thats ok guys, we didnt want to blackmark your careers by getting you guys suspended. But pls dont do anything like this again.

Me: We want to come home and apologise to your parents as well.

Akki: No, dont worry about that. I ll convey this to them.

(End of convo)

Me: Damn, what do we do now ?

Yats: What? Screw him, if he says NO, doesnt mean we cant go. We will.

Me: Hang on, arent we trying to develop a good relation here ?

Yats: Tomorrow if he says ‘dont be with my sister’, will you quit ?

What a line ! Do you guys know Sir Vivian Richards, the West Indian batting maestro ? Once, when Viv got knocked on the face (without a helmet) by a bouncer, he rubbed his cheek once and continued chewing his gum. The next ball, he swirled around and smashed it over the ropes. Yats was something like that. Got hit once but the recovery period was minimal. Back in black !

Me: Can you hear me out first before you shout at me ?

One: Go on.

Me: I did not come along with the guys. I didnt even know they were coming. I will never have let them do it had I known.

Before me saying another word, she came forward and hugged me. She needed it. Ok, I needed it too.

Me: But they did all this for us. Just so that we can be together.

She got off my shoulder. WTF !

Me: I am coming to your house today.

One: Whaaaaat ?

Me: To talk to your parents about us.

One: You planning on getting me killed completely ?

Me: No, I promise I will set it alright.

One: What are you gonna do ?

Me: Yats and I….(interrupts)

One: Sounds trouble.

Me: No, Yats and I will talk to your parents.

One: Why cant you come alone ?

Me: You leave that to me.

One: Are you sure you want to do this ? You dont know my mom…

Me: You mom doesnt know me. (Yes, I always wanted to say that line… its from DDLJ)

(Back at my place)

Panky: Are you guys fkin mad ?

Me: Are you coming with us – Yes or No ?

Panky: Yes. Just for you.

Yats: You – how many times will you adjust your hair. Enough of you getting ready. You are not going to see some bride here…

The three of us burst into laughter.

(The Execution, 1630 HRS, One’s Place)

We were just about to hit the calling bell.

Yats: Are you sure you want to do this ?

Me: Never been more sure.

“Come in guys”, One’s mum invited us in. I could, straight away see where all the beauty came from.

One’s Mum: Her dad is gone on tour.

Oh-OOh… Not good. For some reason, the mental picture One had painted of her mum on my mind was in black and white and a lil threatening. I preferred discussing this with her dad. But hey, you cant be the accused and be allowed to choose the judge. The big moment and we didnt mess up.

The initial exchanges were covered easily, thanks to Yats’ existing relations with her family. I looked around and saw what I was searching for her. One.

She was sitting in the dining room, looking stunnigly good in a blue salwar suit. Our eyes were locked on each other. There was a ray of the setting sun that

hit the table and it lightened her face up. She had her hands wrapped around the chair on the reverse. The happiness in her face on seeing me there was so evident. Picture perfect.

Just then, I saw in front of me, the only other thing that could distract me from her – food. Her mum brought in snacks and lime juice. What ? Isnt the girl supposed to bring in all these stuff ! And she lectures so much about tradition and stuff. Ha !

From nowhere, Vish entered the room looking for Akki. It shocked the wits out of him to see us there, munching onto snacks. I guess he could sum it up straight away. Akki walked in and gave a ‘So, you didnt listen to me’ look. They left together to the gym. These were the days Hrithik Roshan had jumped into the cinema scene. Not that it had to do anything with them. Just saying.

One’s lil sister walked in and sat down in the corner counch, by the tv. I have always maintained
that she is the cutest in the family.

I looked around the house. I wish One could come to me, take me around the house. Show me what her fav spots in the house are… where does she hang about.. which is her couch in the tv room… where is she sitting when she is on the phone with me… which side of the bed does she sleep on… what colours are in her room… every little thing. Just then, she walked in to the room. Part 1 of the wish is there. The levels of grace and elegance in the room shot up to an all-time high. She sat by her sis. Such poise! I turned to look at Yats..

Yats: Close your fkin mouth, I can see all the snacks you are eating.

And then, her mum dropped the bombshell.

One’s Mum: I want you guys to take care of her like a sister.

What ? No aunty, thats not the plan. What is everyone thinking. Fuck.

Yats: Sure aunty, I will.

Brilliant. Boss saves the day and my face.

Yats: Shall we leave ?

Damn it Yats. Why would you ask that loudly! Now, I cant say, “No, I want to stay”.

All this while, Panky was quiet. Just as we were leaving,

Me: Yats, let me drive.

Yats: Why ?

Me: What ? In any movie, have you ever seen the hero sitting on the back-seat ?

Yats: Hang on, who told you that you are the hero here ?

Yats and Panky hi5-ed. Bastards.

Me: Come on.

Yats: Ok, Just this time, just till the end of the road.

So much drama for 1/12th of a kilometre. Hopeless.

One had gone upstairs running, to see me leaving. Ok, I am guessing she went ‘running’.

We left… what else did you expect !

(Back at my place)

Me: One’s mum seems like a very nice lady. Why did she hit One !

Panky: Yea, she should have hit you.

Me: Oh, shut up…. actually, I never thought of that. The moment she met me, it looked like her anger waved off. Maybe, its easier for her to trust people when she sees them.

Yats: Hmmm, interesting. At least the next time you get caught, she will call your house directly and spare us the trouble.

Panky: You do realise, you have some questions to answer when you meet JD & Co tomorrow.

Yes. Ofcourse I did. Not sure I had answers though.

Those to-be questions to One would have no meaning now. Like JD told me earlier, “How will they help now ? They are only gonna make matters worse.”

But at least, now the plan had taken off.

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A very happy birthday to all of you who were born between 01 Jan and today. Please drop your tokens of love in the comments box below. Fly high till next week~

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