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Everything in this blog is completely true.

This was during those days when I was mad at the ingeniune world for being insensitive about things and failing to understand my feelings. I, instead,  decided to concentrate on my fitness, pump some iron and work on getting back the 6-pack abs.

Alright, everything from here on is really true…

Me: Can I talk to you for a minute ?

Yats: Go on.

Me: You are correct.

Yats: Thats the best possible start to a conversation.

Me: Its gonna be really tough getting answers out of One and tougher explaining those answers to the guys.

Yats: Damn right.

Me: So how about I choose to avoid it ?

Yats: What, avoid the guys ?

Me: No, avoid the questions to her. I know the guys need an answer. But now, am thinking, does it matter ? My relationship with One, wherever it is at the moment, is at a very precarious point. These line of hostile questions will only make it worse. These questions, for which no answer could possibly be right..

Yats: Be clear. What do you propose to do ?

Me: I am going to talk to One about what happened. But whether or not I question her will be entirely upto me, based on how our conversation goes.

Yats: Ok. I dont think we expect to hear any answers from both of you anyways.

We ? Both of you ? wtf is he using such language for ?

Me: We ? Both of you ? wtf are you using such language for ?

Yats: Thats how its gonna be when you open this topic to the guys. Like teams.

Me: What 2 vs 7 or more ? thats not fair.

Yats: Well, if you cant handle 2 vs 7, how are you gonna handle 2 vs the rest of the world ?

Me: Dont get philosophical. All am telling you is, tomo when all this talk goes on, I want you to play the insider. You stay in their team but at times, when it is going out of control, support me.

Yats: Am not gonna take any one’s side tomo. I ll say what I think is right.

Pointless conversation.

Me: Fine. Lets go.

Panky’s new found love, Tejal, apart from being Sheetal’s cousin sis, was also a good friend of mine. I knew the two big check points the next day were JD and Panky. I was on the phone to her over the night to make some strategic initiatives. She told me to calm down and reassured that everything was gonna be alright. That was very nice of her, a people hadnt exhibited in the past few days when I needed it the most. The following day had a row of arguments over One’s logic behind doing what she did, etc. By the end of it, one thing became clear. Things would never be the same again. The one big happy family of friends and girl-friends was gone. It was time to come back to the normal man’s harsh realities and start making those impossible and irrational choices between your girl and your friend. Another important outcome was that, though the guys didnt like her and what she did, they were still in support of me being with her. That to me, was very important, expecially with all that was to come.

We were in the middle of some practice sessions for some crappy acrobatic fight display we were putting up for the Sports day the coming week. JD and my group house, Mercury, was chasing Pluto house closely for the title. Meanwhile, I went to One for some feedback.

One: What magic did you do on my mum ? She has been singing ‘Arjun’ songs for the rest of the day.

Me: The same magic I did on you.

She blushed. Ah, all this was surely worth it.

Me: Err, what did she exactly say ?

One: Oh, you love listening to your praises, dont you ?

Me: Well, who doesnt ! What did she say ?

One: She said, you are very sweet, very obedient and very shy. She thinks you were not behind the idea of crashing into my house the other day.

Hang on. All of that is true !

Me: Good. So far so good.

One: Thanks.

Me: ???

One: She has calmed down after last evening. I know its really hard on you to do all this.

Me: No. I should be sorry for whats happening. And all of this is for us, so its ok.

One: Why are you doing this ? What is so good about me ?

Me: You love listening to your praises, dont you ?

One: Who doesnt ! Say it !

Me: I have to leave for practice. Maybe one day, I will write a blog about all this.

One: Yea right. Be careful with your practice. Dont break your leg..again.

The practice went on through the rest of the week. On saturday, which was a 1/2 working day, we stayed back after class hours to…yes, your guessed right..practice. Mind you, we hadnt brought lunch from home given it was a half-working day, the canteen was closed for the same reason. The School bus, which was supposed to come back and pick us up, just the practicing gang, didnt return for what seemed like eternity. After waiting forever, we decided to leave for home. Just then, the buses returned. Irony. We reached home at about 5 in the evening.

Now, given the events in the past week or so, our parents naturally started suspecting foul play behind while we returned home late and the reasons behind it. The instruction was very clear: Next time the buses are late, use your pocket money and get home using public transport.

The Sports day was a very exciting event in our school. After speeches are read from a standard template year after year, prepared by Mala B, containing phrases like “here at GG, we believe that a sound mind in the classroom should be complemented by a healthy body in the playground”, etc, the final rounds of sporting events took off. It was disastrous for Mercury at the boys 400m relay and Pluto pipped us to the title by 0.5 points. Yes. Painful, very painful. Nothing was going our way. It must be most hard for JD who had fought his guts out for the title. Sh*t happens. We vowed to get it the next year.

If this was not enough, the buses were late again. Now, most of the others had left with their parents. Mine werent there and so was the case with Raj. For those who dont remember, Raj is my neighbour buddy who was a year in junior in school. Another common point was that we both hated the Corress. Yet another common point was that the Corress hated us. Brilliant. Raj and I decided to listen to our parents’ instructions from last evening and decided to use public transport and get home. We were walking towards the bus stop when a car stopped by us.

Finally, a lift home, I thought. How wrong could I be !

Corress : Where are you guys going ?

Me: Home. Walking towards the bus stop.

Corress : Why arent you using the school bus ?

Me: Well, we would have definitely used it if the buses were here.

Corress: So you are setting yet another new trend by using public transport, so that your juniors can follow ?

Yet another new trend ?

Raj: Mam, its just a bus home.

Corress: No, its not. I know what your intentions behind this are. You want to be rebels and go against the rules. You know the school follows you guys and they ll do the same as well.

Raj / Me: What ??

Corress: I am travelling early this week, so I ll talk to you guys when I return on thursday.

Oh, thank you for the un-asked appointment schedule. For once, we decide to listen to our parents and what happens ? We fall into trouble. Wait a minute, isnt that what happened when we didnt listen to our parents as well???

But seriously, a bus ride can lead you into that much of trouble ? How much can she possibly read into this ?

The following week, there was a just-a-minute competition that I was taking part at Holy X school. And there was this appointment. What was I worried about ?? Take a guess.

Holy X School, Festival of Arts

The host school was a boys-only school, so there was nothing to look forward to. But, the festival meant the best “talent” from the city was in there. It also meant I was away from One and the guys and I could do what I wanted

For those of you who do not know what a “just-a-minute” a.k.a JAM competition is, it is originally supposed to be a concept where you pick a topic from a bowl and speak on it for a minute. No prep time what-so-ever. Now, this concept had been improvised. According to version 2.0, there are multiple speakers at the same time. You use the buzzer to claim first service and start speaking. Now, anyone can interrupt you and take over from you, if they manage to point out a grammatical error, a stutter / extended pause or repetition of stuff for more than twice. There was a total of 10 mins (600 secs) for the topic and the person who clocks the maximum time would win. Simple.

As I found out to my amusement, the biggest loophole of the concept was: there was no rule that said what you speak has to be relevant ! And when it comes to non-stop irrelevant, rubbish talk, do you know who the best is ? Well, you re about to find out.

I was slotted against the some of the best. The likes of David from Holy X, Mansi from Loony were well-known for their vocalised forms of communication.

The topic went up: The dog is chasing my principal.

I was the first on the buzzer and off I went. I had to make a story out of it so that I can talk without stutters and narrate it like a bed-time story. I started by describing how the dog looked. I didnt know much about dogs. So I moved on to how the principal looked. That was not worth it. So I started creating imaginative and probable reasons for why the dog was chasing the prl…. like princie ate the dog’s food so that she could be loyal to the school and stuff. Then, the best possible idea struck me. Names ! There were no chances of grammatical errors when you reading people’s names out. You will not stutter if you know the list. So I decided to use the names of my class in seating order saying all these guys were watching when the dog was chasing the princie. The names and the surnames, given these were south indian names, will take up quite some time. I wish WPUJ Chaminda Vaas and V V S Laxman were in my class too. Somewhere along the line, I named One as well. Naturally, right ? She was in my class afterall. At this point, Mansi hit the buzzer and went, “That is irrelevant to the topic”. The judge went “Objection sustained”. I buzzed again straight-away and said, “there s no such rule which stated
irrelevance being a valid point of objection, your honour”. The judge smiled and repeated, “Objection sustained”. Bitch !

Then the story moved to the Dog eating the princie’ curd rice to seek revenge and the princie started chasing the dog. The audience, including the judges, were laughing their lungs out. At one point, something else struck me. You can use your points twice before you were caught repeating. So, I decided to name everyone again saying these guys were still watching. Everyone got into a ‘Ohhhh’ reaction. David was smiling and was lying on the desk. We knew each other and David had a good sense of humour himself. Mansi was shaking her head like Ricky Ponting was, in the WC quarter-finals game.

At one point, I knew I had clocked enough secs to win. Basically, more than half the time (>300 secs) means I win. I knew I had done that. I wanted to play fair and be sarcastic about it. So, at one point, I said something on the lines of “Well, it seems like no one is going to stop me from speaking. So I have decided to give everyone a chance and stop speaking. Here you go.” and I stopped all of a sudden. It took the others a couple of secs to realised that I had stopped. Mansi was on the buzzer first. David couldnt believe he missed the chance. He had hands on heads while his school mates were laughing at him. I knew what the result was going to be… like in an England v India test match. I had clocked 529 secs out of the possible 600. The judge suggested that I should consider becoming a film writer. Considering how my current profession is going, I wish I had listened to him.

From talking like a public prosecutor to the judges, I was already thinking about my prosecution in front of Corress later that week.

I got off the stage and amidst the congratulatory wishes, this lady walked up to me. She was fair in complexion, had semi-gothic eyes and a charming smile. She introduced herself as Mansi’s mum. She congratulated me for the victory and said how she loved my composure as I spoke all that rubbish. And then, she entered the No Entry zone as we walked down the hall.

Mansi’s mum: There was a different glow in your face when you said One’s name.

What is this supposed to be ? Mind games ? Sledging ? Ponting, Aussies ! I knew it ! All in good spirit, Mansi !

Me: Yes, I was looking at your daughter, maybe thats explains the glow in my face.

Mansi’s mum: Ohhh, nice one. So what is it between you two ?

Me: Shit ! I swear there s nothing between your daughter and I.

Mansi’s mum: Ha ha, I hope not ! I was referring to you and One.

Me: Oh, that ! We are JUST-friends.

Mansi’s mum: Its ok, you can tell me. I am not like the student couple-hating parents in this town. Its great to be in love. Especially at your age. I understand that you guys got your own lives and are free to do what you like, as long as its not drugs.

I could see that she was geniune about what she said. There was truth in her eyes and a complementing smile when she said that. She was the coolest mum. I had already started to like her. If at all One didnt work out, I can always switch to Mansi. At least I know her mum would be fine with it and wont hack into phone calls. Except I ll hv to bear with Mansi’s Ponting look ! All in good spirit, Mansi !

Me: Thank god for that. Actually, thank you for that. I wish there were more people like you, aunty. But there s no such thing between us.

Mansi’s mum: Thats sad. I know she s a pretty girl. Both of you will make a cute couple.

Errr, I was expecting to hear something about my good looks too. Anyways…

Me: Let me tell you something aunty. A secret. Something only one another person knows. One and I are going around. In love.

Mansi’s mum: I knew it. You have a lover-boy look about you. And who is that one another person ?

Me: Now, am not gonna tell you everything in our first meeting, am I ?

Mansi’s mum: Hmhm, and what makes you think I wont tell your secret to others ?

Me: Well, who will believe you ? Arjun told you the truth about his relationship in your first meeting ? Something he has been denying for a long time now !

And anyways, that s what the world thinks is true. What difference will it make !

Mansi’s mum: Fair enough. But you can trust me, I wont do anything like that.

Me: A pleasure meeting you aunty. You have great eyes.

She smiled and we parted ways. Little did I know that apart from being Mansi’ mum, she was also the French teacher in Loony school. Merveilleuse !

All in good spirit, Mansi ! Au revoir ! Till next week, Fly high !

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PS: Belated birthday wishes to Mum, Gabby, Swats, Akshay Vyas and Mansi; a very happy birthday to Stephanie, love you