Me: Whaaaaaaaaaaaat ?

The mention of the ‘P’ word freaked me out. Only the cops were missing from the basking Maverick glory story. Dad will shoot me upside down Mission Impossible 1 style and then disown the dead body. No one in my conservative brahmin household had ever stepped into a police station. Even if their daughters went missing, they would send a telegram to the sub-inspector.

Yats: Dont freak out. We have convinced him to stay calm. He has my bike for ransom till we bring some one… today.

Right. So, its not over yet. If Yats doesn’t return home on time with his bike, that Mission Impossible treatment would apply to him.

Yats: Lets go to Sunny’s place.

A few hours before………………… FLASHBACK (swirling circles zooming in effect)

August 15, Independence Day

Yats: Are you sure you want to do this ?

Me: I dont say things I am not sure of.

Yats: What if we get caught ?

Me: Err.. why are you saying things like that ?

Yats: Ha ! Avalavu bayam irukkele ! (You are scared right !) Then stop blurting out lines like that.

One and Ani wanted wanted their respective guys to take them out for a private date. We had no clue where to go as there was no such ‘private’ place to date in that town. All those people complaining about living in big cities and travel time should try this sometime. No excuses for being late on your date in this pea-size playground. Yats had chosen this ‘spot’ behind one of the other schools in the town. Situated on the characterestic Western Ghat outlays of the town, the spot was more suitable for shooting the Gabbar scene of Sholay (you westerner-types can imagine a cowboy movie setting or something). “Exactly my point. No one would expect a romantic rendezvous there. Only thieves and cops would come there. There will hardly be human presence there”. Most people think. Some out-think the most.

Yats: So, you got the agenda ? Go on, lets re-collect the whole thing.

Rags: Right. Ani will go to One’s place and pick her up and meet us on College Road. We ll take them to the spot from there. You will bring Panky.

Yes, the guys were accompanying us for moral support. As weird as it may seem, a third person with an unbiased view of things is of quintessential significance in a situation of crisis. A clean shave and a long shower used to set me fresh back in the days of sleep dearth. The excuse to sneek Dad’s bike out for an under-aged drive was a trip to the nearby snooker parlour. And as I stepped out of my room,

Mum: Are you going to meet One ?

WTF !

Me: What ? Nooooooooo… going to play snooker.

Mum: Dressed like that ? Fine. If you say so !

My relatives were staying over that weekend. Dad included, they were in a pre-lunch conversation when I passed by the living room.

Relative: Are you not studying for Monday’s exam ?

Of course. In a family with more degrees than a thermometer, snooking before exam day was not a common tradition.

Me: Tomorrow is your train back home. Are you not leaving to the station today ?

They went quiet. Some return of serves are too good.

Rags, Yats with Panky were already in College Road as I reached… 10 mins late. Ani brought One with her. She was dressed in a white polyster off-sleeve Tee and  dark blue shaper jeans. (How do I know its polyster ? Shut up and read on.) Looking gorgeous as ever.

Rags: She s looking good.

Me: I know.

Rags: Am talking about Ani.

Me: Ah? Oh. Yeah. She too.

I looked around to check if it was time to leave. Yats had left. Right ! “Lets go” to you too.

The gravel rocks and boulders lying around and the sun blazing down at 1400 Hrs made you feel like you were in Mars. I had to go around for 5 mins to inspect the spot and find a place to sit down. What an ideal dating spot ! Yats was right. There is hardly any human presence here. I can see that there is a good reason for that. Rags and Ani vanished to the other end of the spot, which would nearly take them to the next state.

One: What kind of place have you brought me to ?

She sat beside me. The most fragrant thing in that spot was smelling like a million roses dissolved in Jack Daniels. No wonder she intoxicates me.

Me: Did you have a better place in mind ?

One: We cant even order coffee here !

It would be interesting if she makes that request to Yats. His reply would be censored poetry of satire.

Me: I can offer you good substitutes for caffeine you know.

One: Tea ?

Err… my sexy epigram didnt exactly work. I looked away with disgust. I noticed a used condom lying by one of the rocks. Right, the campaign is working. Looks like we were not the first here. For all you know, Yats might have a secret consultancy service.

An hour later, Yats emerged from the downward sloping rocky surface. His look and walk told me that he didnt come there for a polite ‘is everything ok ?’ enquiry.

Yats: Is everything ok ?

Or maybe he did.

Me: (Looking up at the sun) Perfect.

One: Hi Yats.

Yats: Why are you acting like you’re seeing me for the first time today ?

One: he he he (meaning she didnt have an answer).

Yats: (looking at me) Can I talk to you for a minute ?….

..

Me: Sup ?

Yats: We have a situation….

He sounded like the CIA.

Yats: … some random guy noticed Rags and Ani.

Me: Ah…… What is his problem ?

Yats: Them. Us to be more precise. You see, this society is very conservative in terms of the positions a couple should maintain in a ‘studying’ age.

Me: Remind me ! This society wrote the Kama Sutra, didnt it ?

Yats: Well, that guy certainly didn’t and he is our problem right now. So, shove your literary genius up you-know-where and make a move.

Me: So, we leave now ?

Yats: Not exactly, he wants to meet Ani’s parents.

Damn. That meant trouble. Damn this fuckin’ loser society. Bunch of narrow-minded wankers. All that “is this what your parents taught you ?” lines would emerge now. Cant even reply saying ‘Discovery Channel’ did. Or he will be recollecting you as a  ‘back-answering brat’ as he opens and stares at the glamorous female pic in the centre page of a tamil monthly magazine. Hypocrytic twats.

Me: I can’t bring One there. That will add another parents’ meet in his appointment diary.

Yats: Exactly. So, you take her and disappear.

Me: I cant go inside city limits with her in the passenger seat for fuck’s sake. It will be in papers tomorrow morning.

Yats: No, you are not that famous….

Right. Even in a crisis, he doesn’t miss an opportunity.

Yats: … don’t enter city limits. Leave this spot, drive for a while and you’ll meet another road. Take the first right and stay there. There are constructed but unoccupied houses there. No one will see you.

The real estate cells in his gujurati blood had taken over. Not even the city’s mayor would know this much. But then, he is not a Maverick either !
..
As I walking One to the bike, I was summarising the situation to her.

One: I need some water.. or some coke.

Me: Sorry ? Now ?

One: Yeah. I am getting dehydrated. Couldn’t you get some energy drink with you ?

I would have.. if we were there to play the Australian Open finals.

Me: I will get you anything you want. Just get on the bike.

One: (wicked smile) anything ?

Dramaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !

Me: Shut up and get up.

One: No. I need a cola drink. ( and started walking away towards the other state direction).

Me: This way. Coca-cola is banned in that state.

She obliged for that at least. Why this Cola-veri di !

….

There was extreme silence in that street. One and I had just finished a round of argument (read me listening to) where she was upset about ‘her’ having to go through all these situations. My listening stopped when she said, “I should have thought twice before getting into this relationship with you”. I took a couple of steps away. Just then, Rags and Ani arrived. Ani was wiping away tears. Girls do that everytime. If the intention is to hide it from people, you should have wiped it before anyone actually noticed. Doing it as someone is looking at you is insincere. Attention-seekers ! Ani got down and hugged One. No such drama between Rags and I.

Rags: Random guy has taken custody of Yats’ bike. Will not let go until he sees some parents.

Me: Some parents ? Well, how many do we have ?

Rags: No. Elders of some sort.

Me: Do brothers count ?

Rags: Thats the plan. We are hoping to bring Panky’s brother.

Hope !

Rags: I am gonna go and fetch them two.

One left with Ani. I wasn’t exactly interested in good-bye’s after her last line. A few minutes later Rags reached with the two.

Yats: He wants to go to the police.

Me: Whaaaaaaaaaaaat ?

The mention of the ‘P’ word freaked me out. Only they were missing from the basking Maverick glory story. Dad will shoot me upside down Mission Impossible 1 style and then, dis-own the dead body. No one in my conservative brahmin household had ever stepped into a police station. Even if their daughters went missing, they would send a telegram to the sub-inspector.

Yats: Dont freak out. We have convinced him to stay calm. He has my bike for ransom till we bring some one… today.

Right. So, its not over yet. If Yats doesn’t return home on time with his bike, that Mission Impossible treatment would apply to him.

Yats: Lets go to Sunny’s place.

Take-away trivia: Panky’s brother, Sunny, owned a Audio/Video sales and equipment store, among other things. He has was quite popular among his friends and acquaintances.. for the right reasons. A highly respected person among the Maverick group. A strong character who was more than capable of handling these kinda situations in the grit that they should be dealt with. From my previous meetings, I also knew he was great to have a conversation with and didn’t have a long-lasting temper. Right. Enter Sunny.

Sunny: You see her in school on either side of this weekend. But, you still wanted to meet in that little space of time ?

Me: I miss her during the holidays….

There was a big “Oooooooooo” around the store from his guys.

Me: … so I thought…

Sunny: So you thought you will put everyone in some trouble for fun ?

Me: Sorry. Definitely didnt mean that. I thought this was safe.

Sunny: You will always think its safe… until you fall in trouble.

Of course. The moral of every Maverick story. Your kids don’t need a better case-study in their moral science classes. That trend was steady throughtout the Maverick timeline. Sunny left with his people and Yats. Sunny had insisted that the rest of us stay back. There was a weird silence in the room Panky and I were seated.

Panky: All this better be worth it.

I nodded. One’s last line played in loop in my mind. Maybe I should have thought about it as well. But then, if you think, you will never fall in love. The day’s events were a nervous awakening to reality. Was it actually that difficult or were we making it complicated for ourselves with our choice ? We still didn’t know if the situation would die down. It was already 9 p.m and the boy who apparently went to the snooker parlour had not returned. I called home to inform I will be late. Didn’t go too well with the parents. Has that news ever gone down well with any parents ? “At least inform us that you will be late”. Ya right. But then, if we inform, we will have to hear from you twice – once on the phone and then when we return home. Might as well, listen to the summarised version when we return home late night / early morning. Indian dads are too lazy and arrogant to wake up and open the door at those hours. So, what you will hear is a radio-edit version from the Mum. Sir, at your age you have theories of life. At our age, we only have practicalities.

90 mins later, the gang returned. Sunny patted me on the back and said in a soft voice: “Lets not repeat this. The climax will be different the next time”. I couldn’t thank him enough. The special appearance was the hero.

Bhai, one of Sunny’s friends and shop-mate: That random guy buys his music and movie CDs from our shop.

Commercial pride in the least expected corner of times. India is booming.

Sunny: I told Yats to go home with Rags’ bike. (Both had similar bikes). Now, Rags is returning Yats’ and taking his. You, go home. Its too late.

Sunny’s guys later told me that the random guy worked in the commissioner’s office. Yes, the police commissioner. “Only thieves and cops would come there”. The boss is always right !

I rode back, half-relieved and half-depressed. One’s assessment of the whole situation was pathetic and incompassionate to say the least. I was hoping it would change when she thinks about it the next morning. The two people, who had no reason to be there, were the ones who actually got into trouble with their families – Panky and Yats.

Another crazy day in the life of a Maverick came to an end…. uh oh, not yet. Dad opened the door.

Dad: Its past 11 pm.

I looked at my watch as if I was not sure.

Dad: The snooker parlour shuts at 9 pm. Where were you ?

Me: Oh. We left early to Tumtum complex and Yats’ place.

Dad: I called Yats’ place. His mum said you weren’t there.

Crap. Total breakdown of communication and an over-smart dad. Teenage life !

Me: Not necessarily in that order. We went to Yats’ place first and then went to Tumtum.

Dad: What time did you leave Yats’ place ?

Me: Half 7.

Dad: I called at 8 pm.

Me: Yeah. We were standing outside by our bikes and chatting. Maybe his mum didnt notice.

Dad: Get in.

Oh. So, had I given wrong answers, I wouldn’t have entered. And I thought the exam was on Monday ! Essay-writing is an in-born talent Sir.

Mum: Where were you ?

Ok. Supreme court to High court. I couldn’t even ask for dinner cos Dad knows I would have dinner in Bhel puri store at Tumtum….. had I been there. I did the ‘please, be quiet’ action to Mum. She obliged. God’s best creations! Rajinikanth and Mums.

As I sat down, the door bell buzzed. I knew it was either the police or one of my friends. It was Rags.

Me: Not a good time. Dad is in Frequently Asked Questions mode.

Rags: Fuck. Should I leave ?

Me: No. Come in. Have dinner. It’s paal payasam (milk payasam) and more kuzhambu (buttermilk with 2 tea-spoons of turmeric powder and then I forgot the recipe).

Rags turned away to leave.

Me: Wait…

I slowly half-shut the door and joined him in the balcony.

Rags: What a day ! Was One ok ?

Me: No. And Ani ?

Rags: She didn’t say a word.

Me: Thats better given my girl’s choice of words.

Rags: Sorry. It will be ok tomorrow. Don’t worry.

Me: What is that loser’s problem in life ! He must have married a girl and later found out that it was a man. Frustrated asshole. You can’t even take the girl you love, out for a date.

Rags: Happy Independence Day !

Me: Yeah, fuckin independence day.

Rags: Its not fuckin happy, is it !

Me: Its not not fuckin independence, is it ?

Rags: What a brain-wash ! Independence from the goras so that the resident brown bastards  can frame up unwritten rules to suit themselves. You can’t vote for the person you want below 18. Didn’t know you can’t even live the life you want.

Me: Narrow-minded, conservative, hypocrytic, big-nosed bastards ! Why don’t such people die in natural disasters.

Rags: Only 1.2 billion minus 1 billion will be left. Moreover, their chances of dying by sexually transferred diseases are higher.

Dad enters.

Dad: Hello Rags.

Rags: Hello Uncle. I was just leaving….

Dad: Its ok. Wait. Tell me where you guys, actually were !

Holy mother of God. Rags had no access to the answer sheet I had submitted to Dad. I will be doomed. It was time to show-off some acting skills.

Me: Stop…errr… I mean don’t stop, Rags. You keep going. Dad, you have interviewed me. Thats fine. I wont permit for such treatment of my friends.

Dad: I don’t need your permission.

Me: You wouldn’t be too pleased if I say the same and hijack your bike.

Dad: Watch what you’re saying !

Rags (from downstairs): Bye da. Bye Uncle.

He had pressed ‘Escape’ key during the father-son verbal duel. Smarty ! Chemistry is everything in friendship. Especially, ethyl alcohol

I grinned at Dad with victorious pride. Not the right time or situation to call Yats or Panky. Enough of your so-called fucked-up independence and its stupid day. I was off to bed. I had to wake up to plan the school movie trip to the ‘Boys’ movie with the larger Maverick gang… and yeah, then the exam too. Gud Nacht ! Fly High ~

Note: Belated New year wishes to all the readers. Belated Birthday wishes to Neelakantan Padmanabhan, Sunil Tejwani, Sugandh Bhattar, Preeti Rangamani and my lovely brother, Arun Sundar.

I was in deep sleep under the medication when Mum woke me up. Its never good news when that happens.

Mum: Corress in on the phone. She wants to talk to you.

Ah, she cant stay away from me for one day, can she !

Corress: I am here with Raj in my office room and I have a question for you.

Sounds like Amitabh Bachchan from KBC.

Corress: Raj here says you took the public transport because the school bus was very late the previous day.

Me: Yes mam, thats right.

Corress: So why dont you take the town bus everyday and stop using the school bus ?

Me: But, mam, the school bus is not late everyday.

Corress: Dont back-answer me.

What ? She asked me a question. I answered it. And anyway, what is ‘back’-answering ? Is it even possible to front-answer ? Its called ‘answer’ when it is at the back of a question. Jeez you ppl !

Corress: Raj and yourself have broken a school rule that says that the student should not leave the school premises or use other means of transport without prior permission.

Me: But what about those people who left with their family in their private vehicles ? Weren’t they breaking the rule too ?

Corress: That is none of your business…..

Errr ????

Corress: …
and to make sure the others dont use this as an example, I am going to suspend you and your friend here. You have already been given a warning when I did not suspend you. But this time, I have to take this step. You dont have to come to school tomo. You can come in next Monday.

Me: Ma, that is not fair. You still havent considered what happened with the school bus the previous day.

Corress: No, I dont have to justify my decision. No more arguments on this. <hangs up>

What did she mean she didnt have to justify it ? Ofcos she has to ! This is fkin autocracy and fundamentalism. Raj came home later that evening.

Raj: How are you feeling now ?

Me: Seriously ?

Raj: Ok. Wrong question. What now ?

Me: What do you think ?

Raj: I think by you not being there, you made a mistake. She got to close the argument on the phone. If you were there, you could have held your case. Poor move.

Lesson learnt !

Raj: Screw this, let her suspend us if she wants to. Who cares.

Me: No. Not that we care, but the person looking at your conduct certificate might care. A suspension blackmark will not look good. Especially, when you have done nothing wrong.

Raj: Well, she has the power and she is mis-using it. Our parents are never going to understand this. So what can we possibly do ?

Me: Lets go to school tomo.

Raj: And piss her off further and get suspended longer ? What are you exactly planning to do ?

Me: No, lets challenge this. By staying at home, we wld hv accepted it. By going there, we might risk a longer suspension. But at least, we can try revoking it.

Raj: I cant come to school in any case. I have a match tomo.

Ofcos. Raj was the star sportsman – Athletics, Cricket, Basketball – you name it. And good at each one of them too. Yes, a rarity. Everyone could see the talent in him except… the Corresspondent and a few others.

The next day, I went in with some real determination. I didnt want my thoughts to scatter out. So I went straight to the Corress’ office. There was no Corress. She was coming in after an hour. What an anti-climax. However, an hour later she was there and so was I. The princie also happened to be in her room when I went in.

Corress: Sorry, I thought I asked you not to come in today.

Me: Yes mam, you did. I came to find out why.

Corress: Arjun, I dont want to start this all over again. I am doing this for your good.

Ya right !

Arjun: How is suspending me for my good, mam ?

Corress: That will make you not to repeat the mistakes.

Arjun: Mistake of taking a public bus ?

Corress: Mistake of breaking the school rule.

Arjun: If that was the rule, so many others did it as well.

Corress: They were with their parents.

Arjun: Well, how do you know for sure that they were with their parents ? And my parents were not there. So, I used public transport. Is there something here other than breaking the rule, mam ?

Corress: Yes, as I said, its for your good. I want you to understand what is good and bad.

Arjun: But, mam, perception of good and bad is a personal choice.

Corress: The role of a school is to go beyond teaching books and getting your personality right. Do you want me to correct you as a person ?

I was so glad she asked that question.

Arjun: No mam.

The princie looked a little stunned. For the first time, she took her head out of the papers and looked up at me.

Arjun: I dont want you to affect me as a person in anyway. I think my personal affairs should be left to me… and as far as this issue is concerned, I dont think I have done anything wrong by taking a bus home. No one even knows about it. So, I dont think anyone is going to follow my example.

Corress paused for a while. She probably didnt expect me to react that way. She probably has never had anyone reacting to her that way before.

Corress: Fine. I will not interfere in your personal affairs since you insist. I will not suspend you this time. But, the next time I catch you flouting a rule, I will expel you. Not suspend, expel you.

The moment of reckoning was there. She gave me the option as if had I not agreed, she would change her mind. But I respected her for considering my plea.

Arjun: Yes mam. Any time you catch me ACTUALLY breaking a rule, you can expel me. Agreed.

It was a huge decision to make in a few seconds – something that could affect the rest of my life. It was all a rush of blood. I knew I had to take the offer to live today and fight later. This way, at least I was not getting suspended. And future action rested in my control. If I had a glimpse of what was to come in the future, I would have re-considered those words. From that day, it was not a Corress-student relationship  anymore. It was a lot personal than that. But that minute, I walked out happy.

One of the characters in the movie Sarkar says that you should not fail to look at the long-term gains to solve short-term trouble. I wish I knew that back then. Its a bit like what is happening in the global economy at the moment.

It was the language class. Tamil for me. The tamil class was always one filled with fun and stress-free nuicanse. I still hadn’t recovered from the exchanges with the Corress. JD more than compensated. It all started with silence.. like a Scorcese movie. JD was sitting all quiet when Tamil mam noticed and reasoned it.

JD got up and answered with a very serious face (translated to English for the benefit of the neutral reader).

JD: I want to say something. But I dont know how to say it…. but I cant stay without saying it either…But I dont know how to say it…. but I cant stay without saying it either…

..And it went on and on in a chain. It took everyone a while to realise that he was being funny and there was ntn serious abt it. Mam asked him to sit down. But JD wouldnt.

JD: Come on mam, hear me out. I cant stay without saying it.

Mam: Ok. Say it fast.

JD: But I dont know how to say it.

Ahhhhhhhh. It was a funny irritation to hear him keep saying that. The whole class burst out into a laughter and appreciated the cunning verbal chain of expression JD had created. You couldnt break it. Trust me, you didnt even wanna try. I came back to my class to my One.

One: Corress came to my house today.

Oh yes. The triangular series between One’s house, Corress and Me continues.

Me: For dinner ?

One: No. To tell my Mum that she was suspending you. Why do you keep doing all this ?

Me: Err ? What did I even do ? Took a bus home. Is it that wrong ?

One: I dont know. My mum was then asking me, “Why does Arjun keep doing these things ?”

Me: Well, did she say what exactly she was suspending me for ?

One: She said you were breaking the school rules continuously.

Me: Oh wow. Very convenient. Well, as you can see and I have not been suspended. You can tell your mum that.

One shrugged and walked away. I couldnt believe One would talk to me like that. Of all people, I expected her to understand what this was.

That evening, the gang met up at the snooker place. Snooker/pool fever had recently caught up with the gang and thats where we would be all evening. One of A.R.Rahman’s new albums – the soundtracks of the ‘Boys’ movie was playing and was an instant hit among the youngsters.

Panky: She came for your hair. But you gave her the option of taking your head the next time.

Me: I dont like losing my hair. So, I would rather have that trade.

Yats: Screw all that. From here on, be very careful in everything you do.

JD: Especially when you re dealing with girls.

Experience speaks.

Yats: Anyways, we have to arrange for the school to be taken for a movie, being interact club members.

Kumar: Yes. Yats and I have decided that it should be ‘Boys’.

Me: But we dont even know how good the movie is.

Yats: Thats the whole point. It will be fresh. We will go first weekend. So no one would have watched it. The movie has a very young feel to it. So, hopefully, everyone will like it. We already know that everyone loves the music.

Everyone agreed to the idea. Panky pocketed the last shot and we decided to plan the movie arrangement the next day in class.

Like Yats said years later, it was a touch – like the Midas touch, this was a Maverick touch. We managed to pick up a non-existing situation, convert that opportunity into a controversy and fall into trouble. A special, signature knack. There were movies with an appeal to the youth. There were porn movies. And there was Boys. A gang of boys would always mean trouble. We, of all, should have known it. Sa re ga me till next week.

As a special surprise attachment to this week’s issue, I have an audio link for JD’s golden words of chain expression from the man himself. For all the beauty lost in translation, here is the original piece. A big thank you to JD for this. Let me know what you think.  (Don’t worry, its spam free !)

http://www.zshare.net/download/947842468212871d/

PS: A very happy birthday to Divya Kadir and Paulomi Desai. Belated birthday wishes to Raghuvaran, Yatin B Shah, Karan Shah, Vishesh Arora and Yaser Ali.

Fly high till next week ~

This was during those days when I was mad at the ingeniune world for being insensitive about things and failing to understand my feelings. I, instead,  decided to concentrate on my fitness, pump some iron and work on getting back the 6-pack abs.

Alright, everything from here on is really true…

Me: Can I talk to you for a minute ?

Yats: Go on.

Me: You are correct.

Yats: Thats the best possible start to a conversation.

Me: Its gonna be really tough getting answers out of One and tougher explaining those answers to the guys.

Yats: Damn right.

Me: So how about I choose to avoid it ?

Yats: What, avoid the guys ?

Me: No, avoid the questions to her. I know the guys need an answer. But now, am thinking, does it matter ? My relationship with One, wherever it is at the moment, is at a very precarious point. These line of hostile questions will only make it worse. These questions, for which no answer could possibly be right..

Yats: Be clear. What do you propose to do ?

Me: I am going to talk to One about what happened. But whether or not I question her will be entirely upto me, based on how our conversation goes.

Yats: Ok. I dont think we expect to hear any answers from both of you anyways.

We ? Both of you ? wtf is he using such language for ?

Me: We ? Both of you ? wtf are you using such language for ?

Yats: Thats how its gonna be when you open this topic to the guys. Like teams.

Me: What 2 vs 7 or more ? thats not fair.

Yats: Well, if you cant handle 2 vs 7, how are you gonna handle 2 vs the rest of the world ?

Me: Dont get philosophical. All am telling you is, tomo when all this talk goes on, I want you to play the insider. You stay in their team but at times, when it is going out of control, support me.

Yats: Am not gonna take any one’s side tomo. I ll say what I think is right.

Pointless conversation.

Me: Fine. Lets go.

Panky’s new found love, Tejal, apart from being Sheetal’s cousin sis, was also a good friend of mine. I knew the two big check points the next day were JD and Panky. I was on the phone to her over the night to make some strategic initiatives. She told me to calm down and reassured that everything was gonna be alright. That was very nice of her, a people hadnt exhibited in the past few days when I needed it the most. The following day had a row of arguments over One’s logic behind doing what she did, etc. By the end of it, one thing became clear. Things would never be the same again. The one big happy family of friends and girl-friends was gone. It was time to come back to the normal man’s harsh realities and start making those impossible and irrational choices between your girl and your friend. Another important outcome was that, though the guys didnt like her and what she did, they were still in support of me being with her. That to me, was very important, expecially with all that was to come.

We were in the middle of some practice sessions for some crappy acrobatic fight display we were putting up for the Sports day the coming week. JD and my group house, Mercury, was chasing Pluto house closely for the title. Meanwhile, I went to One for some feedback.

One: What magic did you do on my mum ? She has been singing ‘Arjun’ songs for the rest of the day.

Me: The same magic I did on you.

She blushed. Ah, all this was surely worth it.

Me: Err, what did she exactly say ?

One: Oh, you love listening to your praises, dont you ?

Me: Well, who doesnt ! What did she say ?

One: She said, you are very sweet, very obedient and very shy. She thinks you were not behind the idea of crashing into my house the other day.

Hang on. All of that is true !

Me: Good. So far so good.

One: Thanks.

Me: ???

One: She has calmed down after last evening. I know its really hard on you to do all this.

Me: No. I should be sorry for whats happening. And all of this is for us, so its ok.

One: Why are you doing this ? What is so good about me ?

Me: You love listening to your praises, dont you ?

One: Who doesnt ! Say it !

Me: I have to leave for practice. Maybe one day, I will write a blog about all this.

One: Yea right. Be careful with your practice. Dont break your leg..again.

The practice went on through the rest of the week. On saturday, which was a 1/2 working day, we stayed back after class hours to…yes, your guessed right..practice. Mind you, we hadnt brought lunch from home given it was a half-working day, the canteen was closed for the same reason. The School bus, which was supposed to come back and pick us up, just the practicing gang, didnt return for what seemed like eternity. After waiting forever, we decided to leave for home. Just then, the buses returned. Irony. We reached home at about 5 in the evening.

Now, given the events in the past week or so, our parents naturally started suspecting foul play behind while we returned home late and the reasons behind it. The instruction was very clear: Next time the buses are late, use your pocket money and get home using public transport.

The Sports day was a very exciting event in our school. After speeches are read from a standard template year after year, prepared by Mala B, containing phrases like “here at GG, we believe that a sound mind in the classroom should be complemented by a healthy body in the playground”, etc, the final rounds of sporting events took off. It was disastrous for Mercury at the boys 400m relay and Pluto pipped us to the title by 0.5 points. Yes. Painful, very painful. Nothing was going our way. It must be most hard for JD who had fought his guts out for the title. Sh*t happens. We vowed to get it the next year.

If this was not enough, the buses were late again. Now, most of the others had left with their parents. Mine werent there and so was the case with Raj. For those who dont remember, Raj is my neighbour buddy who was a year in junior in school. Another common point was that we both hated the Corress. Yet another common point was that the Corress hated us. Brilliant. Raj and I decided to listen to our parents’ instructions from last evening and decided to use public transport and get home. We were walking towards the bus stop when a car stopped by us.

Finally, a lift home, I thought. How wrong could I be !

Corress : Where are you guys going ?

Me: Home. Walking towards the bus stop.

Corress : Why arent you using the school bus ?

Me: Well, we would have definitely used it if the buses were here.

Corress: So you are setting yet another new trend by using public transport, so that your juniors can follow ?

Yet another new trend ?

Raj: Mam, its just a bus home.

Corress: No, its not. I know what your intentions behind this are. You want to be rebels and go against the rules. You know the school follows you guys and they ll do the same as well.

Raj / Me: What ??

Corress: I am travelling early this week, so I ll talk to you guys when I return on thursday.

Oh, thank you for the un-asked appointment schedule. For once, we decide to listen to our parents and what happens ? We fall into trouble. Wait a minute, isnt that what happened when we didnt listen to our parents as well???

But seriously, a bus ride can lead you into that much of trouble ? How much can she possibly read into this ?

The following week, there was a just-a-minute competition that I was taking part at Holy X school. And there was this appointment. What was I worried about ?? Take a guess.

Holy X School, Festival of Arts

The host school was a boys-only school, so there was nothing to look forward to. But, the festival meant the best “talent” from the city was in there. It also meant I was away from One and the guys and I could do what I wanted

For those of you who do not know what a “just-a-minute” a.k.a JAM competition is, it is originally supposed to be a concept where you pick a topic from a bowl and speak on it for a minute. No prep time what-so-ever. Now, this concept had been improvised. According to version 2.0, there are multiple speakers at the same time. You use the buzzer to claim first service and start speaking. Now, anyone can interrupt you and take over from you, if they manage to point out a grammatical error, a stutter / extended pause or repetition of stuff for more than twice. There was a total of 10 mins (600 secs) for the topic and the person who clocks the maximum time would win. Simple.

As I found out to my amusement, the biggest loophole of the concept was: there was no rule that said what you speak has to be relevant ! And when it comes to non-stop irrelevant, rubbish talk, do you know who the best is ? Well, you re about to find out.

I was slotted against the some of the best. The likes of David from Holy X, Mansi from Loony were well-known for their vocalised forms of communication.

The topic went up: The dog is chasing my principal.

I was the first on the buzzer and off I went. I had to make a story out of it so that I can talk without stutters and narrate it like a bed-time story. I started by describing how the dog looked. I didnt know much about dogs. So I moved on to how the principal looked. That was not worth it. So I started creating imaginative and probable reasons for why the dog was chasing the prl…. like princie ate the dog’s food so that she could be loyal to the school and stuff. Then, the best possible idea struck me. Names ! There were no chances of grammatical errors when you reading people’s names out. You will not stutter if you know the list. So I decided to use the names of my class in seating order saying all these guys were watching when the dog was chasing the princie. The names and the surnames, given these were south indian names, will take up quite some time. I wish WPUJ Chaminda Vaas and V V S Laxman were in my class too. Somewhere along the line, I named One as well. Naturally, right ? She was in my class afterall. At this point, Mansi hit the buzzer and went, “That is irrelevant to the topic”. The judge went “Objection sustained”. I buzzed again straight-away and said, “there s no such rule which stated
irrelevance being a valid point of objection, your honour”. The judge smiled and repeated, “Objection sustained”. Bitch !

Then the story moved to the Dog eating the princie’ curd rice to seek revenge and the princie started chasing the dog. The audience, including the judges, were laughing their lungs out. At one point, something else struck me. You can use your points twice before you were caught repeating. So, I decided to name everyone again saying these guys were still watching. Everyone got into a ‘Ohhhh’ reaction. David was smiling and was lying on the desk. We knew each other and David had a good sense of humour himself. Mansi was shaking her head like Ricky Ponting was, in the WC quarter-finals game.

At one point, I knew I had clocked enough secs to win. Basically, more than half the time (>300 secs) means I win. I knew I had done that. I wanted to play fair and be sarcastic about it. So, at one point, I said something on the lines of “Well, it seems like no one is going to stop me from speaking. So I have decided to give everyone a chance and stop speaking. Here you go.” and I stopped all of a sudden. It took the others a couple of secs to realised that I had stopped. Mansi was on the buzzer first. David couldnt believe he missed the chance. He had hands on heads while his school mates were laughing at him. I knew what the result was going to be… like in an England v India test match. I had clocked 529 secs out of the possible 600. The judge suggested that I should consider becoming a film writer. Considering how my current profession is going, I wish I had listened to him.

From talking like a public prosecutor to the judges, I was already thinking about my prosecution in front of Corress later that week.

I got off the stage and amidst the congratulatory wishes, this lady walked up to me. She was fair in complexion, had semi-gothic eyes and a charming smile. She introduced herself as Mansi’s mum. She congratulated me for the victory and said how she loved my composure as I spoke all that rubbish. And then, she entered the No Entry zone as we walked down the hall.

Mansi’s mum: There was a different glow in your face when you said One’s name.

What is this supposed to be ? Mind games ? Sledging ? Ponting, Aussies ! I knew it ! All in good spirit, Mansi !

Me: Yes, I was looking at your daughter, maybe thats explains the glow in my face.

Mansi’s mum: Ohhh, nice one. So what is it between you two ?

Me: Shit ! I swear there s nothing between your daughter and I.

Mansi’s mum: Ha ha, I hope not ! I was referring to you and One.

Me: Oh, that ! We are JUST-friends.

Mansi’s mum: Its ok, you can tell me. I am not like the student couple-hating parents in this town. Its great to be in love. Especially at your age. I understand that you guys got your own lives and are free to do what you like, as long as its not drugs.

I could see that she was geniune about what she said. There was truth in her eyes and a complementing smile when she said that. She was the coolest mum. I had already started to like her. If at all One didnt work out, I can always switch to Mansi. At least I know her mum would be fine with it and wont hack into phone calls. Except I ll hv to bear with Mansi’s Ponting look ! All in good spirit, Mansi !

Me: Thank god for that. Actually, thank you for that. I wish there were more people like you, aunty. But there s no such thing between us.

Mansi’s mum: Thats sad. I know she s a pretty girl. Both of you will make a cute couple.

Errr, I was expecting to hear something about my good looks too. Anyways…

Me: Let me tell you something aunty. A secret. Something only one another person knows. One and I are going around. In love.

Mansi’s mum: I knew it. You have a lover-boy look about you. And who is that one another person ?

Me: Now, am not gonna tell you everything in our first meeting, am I ?

Mansi’s mum: Hmhm, and what makes you think I wont tell your secret to others ?

Me: Well, who will believe you ? Arjun told you the truth about his relationship in your first meeting ? Something he has been denying for a long time now !

And anyways, that s what the world thinks is true. What difference will it make !

Mansi’s mum: Fair enough. But you can trust me, I wont do anything like that.

Me: A pleasure meeting you aunty. You have great eyes.

She smiled and we parted ways. Little did I know that apart from being Mansi’ mum, she was also the French teacher in Loony school. Merveilleuse !

All in good spirit, Mansi ! Au revoir ! Till next week, Fly high !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PS: Belated birthday wishes to Mum, Gabby, Swats, Akshay Vyas and Mansi; a very happy birthday to Stephanie, love you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RECAP: One’s mum unearths the telephonic secrets of One and myself, and scared One caveman-style. The Mavericks gatecrash into One’s house to demand civil rights to visitation. Meanwhile, One’s parents exercise their right of speech and file a complaint with the correspondent. After a marathon negotiation meeting, we get away with…nothing, not before our parents were enlightened by their junior’s engagements. In school, Yats educated DM on Akki’s wanky ways and Harish makes a special appearance in school. Now, the rest….

Back to reality !

Dad: I heard the news.

Me: What did they say ? Whats the weather forecast for tomorrow ?

Dad: How shameless can you be !

I realised it was a rhetorical question and skipped answering.

Dad: Did you go to her house as well ?

Me: No. But I wish I did.

Dad: What ???

Me: Yea, that way I could have stopped them from going crazy.

Dad: No. You were stupid. You should have gone alone and spoken to her parents. That way you can have a conversation and not a street fight.

Me: Facing her mum alone ? Are you kidding me ? If I die, there wont even be anyone to bear witness to the fact that I went missing.

Dad: You think too much, thats your problem. You need to look at the root cause and solve that first. That could take care of everything else.

I stayed quiet.

Dad: How is One now ?

Me: Errr… havent spoken to her yet…

Dad: All the drama for this ? You didnt even bother finding out how she is!

Me: No, I will, I will.. tomorrow.

Dad: Funny you are. Now, (walking towards me….) are you guys in a relationship ?

Why would he ask that question standing right next to me ! What does he expect me to answer !

Me: No, ntn like that. Thats the whole point you see… am trying to explain to everyone.

Dad: Her parents might be a good start. (walks away).

Have you ever come across these seriously over-hyped events… a particular movie or a football game that everyone is so eager and then it is not as exciting as expected. Dad’s reaction was something like that.
A couple of lessons learnt for life: 1. Always tackle the root cause of the issue. 2. A third person can provide a clear perspective to things. Experience is your greatest teacher.

I straight away picked up the phone and called for Emergency services.

Yats: Whatever it is, keep it to 5 mins. Anything more, parents will get suspicious.

Me: Ok, lets talk tomorrow.

Yats: My mum wants to talk to you…now !

Me: Why do you do this Yats…

Aunty: How is that you always call during dinner time !

Me: Hello aunty, how are you ?

Aunty: Are you still talking to her ?

Honestly, I did not know the answer myself.

Me: No aunty….

Aunty: Good. And please make sure you dont get into any more trouble (stressing on the ‘more’).

Me: Sure aunty, good night.

Amazing how Aunty’s reaction to me and her actions on Yats (the slap) were visibly contrasting…. and all this while, I was thinking Yats’ red cheek was from him blushing. Damn.

Next Morning, at school :-

Me: Wait.

One: I dont want to talk to you. Go away. (and she went away).

Me: Jd, sup ?

JD: Dude, dont talk to me. Go away.

Is today some National Go Away day !

Me: Jd, stop the fuck. Whats wrong ?

JD: I saw you talking to One.

Me: Are you jealous ?

JD: Can I slap you ?

Me: No, you cant. I need to talk to her dude, thats the only way I can get answers.

JD: What answers ? How will they help now ? They are only gonna make matters worse.

He had a point. All of it.

Me: I still need to make sure she is fine.

JD: She almost got us suspended.

Me: WE, almost got ourselves suspended.

JD: Really ? you are gonna take her side now ?

Me: We are all in the same side.

JD: I dont care. All of us hate her. You can talk to the others now (and walked away).

Ok. Now, I need to console two people. I went to Yats.

Me: I got an idea.

Yats: Please. No more. I get really scarred when you come with ideas. Whats the idea anyways ?

Me: Solve the root cause ! Talk to her parents.

Yats: ……..

Me: We will talk to her parents.

Yats: We ?? When did it become ‘We’ ?

Me: Listen to this fully. I thought about it long last night. I realised we should focus on the root cause first. Tell her parents that me and her are just friends. That way, things will become transparent for them.

Yats: Why do you think they will believe you ?

Me: Err… if I say everything, wtf are you gonna do ? Think of something.

Yats: Hmmm… Akki !

Me: What about him now ?

Yats: Lets talk to him first. Then he will tell their parents. So they will absorb things easily from him.

Me: No, I was wanting to go to their house and…

Yats: Again ? After all this ? Why dont you just buy me some posion – that way, I at least get to die in my own house. (turning the other side)

Me: I love her.

Yats: What ? But you just said you guys are just friends…

Me: Arghhhh… thats what we tell their parents. This is what am telling you – I love her.

Yats: Nice….. Did you tell her ?

Me: Yes, she does too. She told me all that.

How pathetic is that ! The moment you tell your close friend about your love. This is supposed to be cherished, with a song in changing locations with bikes and stuff. Here was my special moment but the situation was just too fked up. Hell !

Yats: Hell ! What the…. When the…. Congrats man. But too sad, its over now.

Me: What ? Why ? No…

Yats: Kidding. Lets talk to Akki first then.

Me: Great, after the morning assembly.

(After the morning assembly…)

Me: I am sorry.

Ironic. Those were the first lines I ever spoke to Akki. His were :-

Akki: Its ok.

Yats: We did not mean to come across like that. But did not know there were guests at your place.

Akki: Thats ok guys, we didnt want to blackmark your careers by getting you guys suspended. But pls dont do anything like this again.

Me: We want to come home and apologise to your parents as well.

Akki: No, dont worry about that. I ll convey this to them.

(End of convo)

Me: Damn, what do we do now ?

Yats: What? Screw him, if he says NO, doesnt mean we cant go. We will.

Me: Hang on, arent we trying to develop a good relation here ?

Yats: Tomorrow if he says ‘dont be with my sister’, will you quit ?

What a line ! Do you guys know Sir Vivian Richards, the West Indian batting maestro ? Once, when Viv got knocked on the face (without a helmet) by a bouncer, he rubbed his cheek once and continued chewing his gum. The next ball, he swirled around and smashed it over the ropes. Yats was something like that. Got hit once but the recovery period was minimal. Back in black !

Me: Can you hear me out first before you shout at me ?

One: Go on.

Me: I did not come along with the guys. I didnt even know they were coming. I will never have let them do it had I known.

Before me saying another word, she came forward and hugged me. She needed it. Ok, I needed it too.

Me: But they did all this for us. Just so that we can be together.

She got off my shoulder. WTF !

Me: I am coming to your house today.

One: Whaaaaat ?

Me: To talk to your parents about us.

One: You planning on getting me killed completely ?

Me: No, I promise I will set it alright.

One: What are you gonna do ?

Me: Yats and I….(interrupts)

One: Sounds trouble.

Me: No, Yats and I will talk to your parents.

One: Why cant you come alone ?

Me: You leave that to me.

One: Are you sure you want to do this ? You dont know my mom…

Me: You mom doesnt know me. (Yes, I always wanted to say that line… its from DDLJ)

(Back at my place)

Panky: Are you guys fkin mad ?

Me: Are you coming with us – Yes or No ?

Panky: Yes. Just for you.

Yats: You – how many times will you adjust your hair. Enough of you getting ready. You are not going to see some bride here…

The three of us burst into laughter.

(The Execution, 1630 HRS, One’s Place)

We were just about to hit the calling bell.

Yats: Are you sure you want to do this ?

Me: Never been more sure.

“Come in guys”, One’s mum invited us in. I could, straight away see where all the beauty came from.

One’s Mum: Her dad is gone on tour.

Oh-OOh… Not good. For some reason, the mental picture One had painted of her mum on my mind was in black and white and a lil threatening. I preferred discussing this with her dad. But hey, you cant be the accused and be allowed to choose the judge. The big moment and we didnt mess up.

The initial exchanges were covered easily, thanks to Yats’ existing relations with her family. I looked around and saw what I was searching for her. One.

She was sitting in the dining room, looking stunnigly good in a blue salwar suit. Our eyes were locked on each other. There was a ray of the setting sun that

hit the table and it lightened her face up. She had her hands wrapped around the chair on the reverse. The happiness in her face on seeing me there was so evident. Picture perfect.

Just then, I saw in front of me, the only other thing that could distract me from her – food. Her mum brought in snacks and lime juice. What ? Isnt the girl supposed to bring in all these stuff ! And she lectures so much about tradition and stuff. Ha !

From nowhere, Vish entered the room looking for Akki. It shocked the wits out of him to see us there, munching onto snacks. I guess he could sum it up straight away. Akki walked in and gave a ‘So, you didnt listen to me’ look. They left together to the gym. These were the days Hrithik Roshan had jumped into the cinema scene. Not that it had to do anything with them. Just saying.

One’s lil sister walked in and sat down in the corner counch, by the tv. I have always maintained
that she is the cutest in the family.

I looked around the house. I wish One could come to me, take me around the house. Show me what her fav spots in the house are… where does she hang about.. which is her couch in the tv room… where is she sitting when she is on the phone with me… which side of the bed does she sleep on… what colours are in her room… every little thing. Just then, she walked in to the room. Part 1 of the wish is there. The levels of grace and elegance in the room shot up to an all-time high. She sat by her sis. Such poise! I turned to look at Yats..

Yats: Close your fkin mouth, I can see all the snacks you are eating.

And then, her mum dropped the bombshell.

One’s Mum: I want you guys to take care of her like a sister.

What ? No aunty, thats not the plan. What is everyone thinking. Fuck.

Yats: Sure aunty, I will.

Brilliant. Boss saves the day and my face.

Yats: Shall we leave ?

Damn it Yats. Why would you ask that loudly! Now, I cant say, “No, I want to stay”.

All this while, Panky was quiet. Just as we were leaving,

Me: Yats, let me drive.

Yats: Why ?

Me: What ? In any movie, have you ever seen the hero sitting on the back-seat ?

Yats: Hang on, who told you that you are the hero here ?

Yats and Panky hi5-ed. Bastards.

Me: Come on.

Yats: Ok, Just this time, just till the end of the road.

So much drama for 1/12th of a kilometre. Hopeless.

One had gone upstairs running, to see me leaving. Ok, I am guessing she went ‘running’.

We left… what else did you expect !

(Back at my place)

Me: One’s mum seems like a very nice lady. Why did she hit One !

Panky: Yea, she should have hit you.

Me: Oh, shut up…. actually, I never thought of that. The moment she met me, it looked like her anger waved off. Maybe, its easier for her to trust people when she sees them.

Yats: Hmmm, interesting. At least the next time you get caught, she will call your house directly and spare us the trouble.

Panky: You do realise, you have some questions to answer when you meet JD & Co tomorrow.

Yes. Ofcourse I did. Not sure I had answers though.

Those to-be questions to One would have no meaning now. Like JD told me earlier, “How will they help now ? They are only gonna make matters worse.”

But at least, now the plan had taken off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A very happy birthday to all of you who were born between 01 Jan and today. Please drop your tokens of love in the comments box below. Fly high till next week~

I remember waking up quite early by my standards. A healthy breakfast across a very silent dining table, mainly due to the fact I kept it shut. I walked hopelessly to the bus stop and realised I was pretty early there. I remember feeling very wierd that time waiting under the hinged roof. Its one of those moments when you feel everyone around you and going past you is looking at you with disdain and disgust. Your guilt sinks in further. The rational part of you tells you that you dont make any sense but the guilty part hangs its head and gives up. There were some whom I saw for the first time there, thanks to my record of unpunctual appearances. I carried a blank mind through the journey to school and as it neared the foothills, my heart got heavier and faster. “What are the other guys upto ?” “How did their parents react ?” “How is this gonna change their behaviour ?” “How is this gonna change us ?” “Will One be there ? at all ?”. I got down and knew all my queries are gonna answered soon.

I couldnt get myself to go to class yet. I sat on the concrete gallery by the sidewalk. A couple of minutes later, I saw Yats walking to class from his bus. He nodded meaning “Come along”. Well, Yats is human after all and I expected / hoped he was equally scared of this deep hole we were in. The usual suspects appeared one by one. Now the guys are used to some noise and activity when they enter the class. So the ones who had no idea of the eventful weekend were cheerful as usual and tried doing fun stuff.

Kush cracked some joke and laughed his lungs out. That didnt exactly tickle my funny bone and I turned my face away. He disappeared. In a while, Vish appeared in the class. It reminded me of what he had told One’s brother / Mum – that Kummi was carrying a knife or whatever. I seriously wished I had a knife with me that moment. But the brainy side of me whispered: “Vish and One are in the same bus. If Vish is here, then….”

After all that, she was still the person I was hoping to see that day. One walked in with a hung face, holding her bag like some journalist with a bag of scandolous papers. My eyes followed her from the entrance to her place. At the end of the arc, I noticed Yats staring at me. He didnt exactly like that. He got up and walked past me, his fists almost brushing my face. I knew – another time, it wouldnt be just brushing. None of us spoke any word to each other. Probably the longest spell of silence in my entire life as yet. I started thinking about how my love life had finished even before it started. One’s mum fishing the hell out of her after she found out about just a phone call, leave alone the love story. A movie screening that had more drama off the screen than on it. Some random goon telling us off for speeding… and then the best – the maverick gang takes a picnic to one s house and invites her brother to the party… party it was at the correspondent’s house – knives, girl friends, ‘JUST’ friends and parents were sought. No stone was left unturned in this tragic effort by time and nature to overcome the maverick legend !!! Take a breather ! I felt like a heart patient who had lost 20 kgs in an accident and has just been informed that his blood group is not available in any corner of the world. It couldnt get any worse than this, surely. Deepa mam broke the deadlock.

DM: So, are you guys prepared for the cycle test ?

What the…. A cycle test at this time ? Ofcos, in the southern state I was studying in, you are never far away from a Ganesh temple and a cycle test. They dont need a reason. At every moment of your life, including the time you are enjoying parathas in dinner, scoring a fab goal in playstation, adoring Kareena kapoor on MTV, you are always reminded of board exams by someone or the other… ‘Public exams’ as they like to call it, just to make it sound a bit more dramatic. An hour later, there was a cycle test in Accountancy and this cycle had no fuckin brakes for the next 2 years till we hit board exam time.

Ya ryt ! With this frame of mind, the last thing I am bothered about is Cash A/c Dr. to Raja son of a swine A/c. As the whole episode was drifting into Suspense A/c, I saw Yats being called up by Deepa Mam and they both left the class. They must have gone for a morning stroll I thought and looked around at One. I know the guys hated her and hated me for not hating her. But she looked way too pretty that day. She has these days… when she comes out there and doesnt put a step wrong. Totally flawless in her appearance and speech. In full form. That way, she is like Tendulkar. Except, Tendulkar has been in form longer than she has been alive. Ok. Wrong example.

Yats walked in and signalled me to come out. I thought: “Hello, there is a class supposed to be going on here. This guy must be insane to call me out like this”. I obliged. I walked out of the class, thankfull to the fact that I get to leave the place for sometime of my own. The moment I turned I realised I was wrong. Right outside, Deepa mam was standing, ready for a conversation with Yats and myself. What now !

DM: Arjun, what is this ?

Me: Ma’m, I have lost track. We did not intend to barge into her house like that but…

Yats stopped my line.

Yats: She s asking about something else.

What else could it be ?

DM: Yats told me something. Is that true ?

Now, how am I supposed to know what. I looked at Yats.

Yats: I told her about Akki’s (One’s brother) thing.

No, you didnt.

Me: What Akki’s thing ? (Hoping he would say something else…)

Yats: That he masterbated aroused by Ma’m.

Fucking hell Yats. He actually looked at Deepa Ma’m and told her that some student was aroused by her and wanked in the restroom. The boy had some guts – not the wanker. Yats had some guts.

DM: Is that true ?

Me: Yes. From what I heard from him.

DM: What is this ? Cant an unmarried teacher work peacefully at a place ?

I had no idea what marriage had to do with it. I hung my head and couldnt believe it had got this embarassing now. Contagiously, this incident had started affecting more people than originally planned.

Some time later and 20 mins into the Accountancy test, the peon came to the class. Even as he stood there at the entrance, I knew what was coming. I started getting up.

Peon: Ma’m, Arjun is wanted by the correspondent.

Ofcos ! It had become a daily part of the process now. But, stop using words like ‘wanted’ dude. Looks like I had more dates with the correspondent than with One.

Corress: Oh, you have come alone ? Where s your partner in crime ? Bring him also.

Thank goodness am not alone. Minutes later and the duo appeared.

Corress: This is the new guest room we are building. And you guys are my first guests here.

Me: Thank you ma’m.

Corress: Shut up.

Ok. I was expecting something like ‘welcome’.

Corress: I told you guys to drop this issue. But, you have decided to take it further… and you, Yats, are accussing that kid of non-sensical stuff.

Yats looked at me when she said ‘kid’. For fuck’s sake, no kid does what Akki did. This whole thing was unfair. Why not believe us for a second ? Now, how the hell am I supposed to prove something like this ? This is not some stupid Big brother show with cams in restrooms.

There was heavy shelling for another 10 mins, when the first guests in the new guest room were not even requested to sit. When we came out,

Yats: Whatever happens, she cant change the fact that we were her first guests in that new room.

Me: Yes, they are gonna have a honourary board and our names will on top for history and rest of time to see.

We had to seek consolation in the little things. No extra time was given in the test and I submitted a half-done paper. I couldnt care less. Yats never did.

One after the other, slowly, this was killing us. The news spread to the gang and we got together in the lunch break.. secretly.

JD: Is everyone ok ?

No one answered.

JD: You guys did the right thing by telling Deepa Mam about Akki. They should know that he is not some milky-hearted guy as they think he is.

Me: But no one is believing us dude.

Panky: At this moment, no one will.

Yats: I wish Harry was here to tell them what Akki told him. (Flash: Akki was telling the whole story of his premature release to Harry when I over-heard him. He had no idea back then that I would end up with his sister. High 5!)

Me: Not that Harry will remember it now to tell them.

Kummi: What did your parents say ?

Me: Dad doesnt know.

Deep surprise in the gang.

JD: What ? Why didnt you tell him ?

Me: I need some breathing space. I will tell him today evening so that by the time it is weekend, the effect will be lesser when we both are at home. What did your parents say ?

JD: My mum hates your girl for letting it all open… and so do I.

Dars: Yats’ mum slapped him.

Me: Yats’ mum what ?

I looked at Yats. He quietly looked away. I could not take what was happening. There was still no answer for why all the news about the girl friends and the detailed narration of our relationships came out from One. Only she had the answer. I hadnt even spoken to her since all this, leave alone seek answers. She, surely was in trouble of her own. With her parents first and now all this drama. I was not sure if she will even talk to me. For that one moment, school sucked !

The first class after lunch was Computers and that meant the lab and some fun. Being amateur pioneers in HTML, Me and Yats got to show off in the lab. This brought some much needed distraction. Me and Yats were in so much fear that time, you could say that when we sat next to each other like never before in the lab, almost holding each other’s hands. While the Comp sir went to blagging random tags and codes, Yats and Me were looking up all the sound files in the directory and playing them one by one, much to the teacher’s annoyance. And then, we heard him say,

Comp Sir: Its so nice to see you, come in.

I turned around and experienced the most unbelievable co-incidence I had ever seen in my life. It was Harry. Yes, the same guy who Akki had confessed to about his level 3 toss. My eye balls popped out. I almost threw up in fear and excitement. Harry was done with schooling a couple of months ago. What is he doing here ! I looked at Yats and he looked like he had seen some ghost. Well, to an extent, he actually had.

After chatting random shit to Comp Sir, Harry looked at us and waved. Yats immediately got up to go to him. I caught him.

Me: No, dont ask him a word.

Yats: Why not ? Are you mad ? This is our chance. Akki is a dead duck now.

Me: No. No one will believe him or us. What are we trying to prove anyways ? That Akki is a wanker ? People will eventually find that out. Its only good for us we close this issue here. We dont wanna get hurt further trying to hurt him.

Yats: What the fuck ?

Me: Yats, live today, fight tomorrow. Sit the fuck down.

Yats sat the fuck down with the biggest thud and started banging away on the keyboard like some tabla maestro. Thinking back, it was a great decision not to let Yats go with it.

Sometimes I think – what if this was the other way around ? What if One’s friends came to my house and pulled my brother out. My brother would have probably happily let me go. He can have the tv and playstation all to himself. But it doesnt happen like that, does it. It always has to be boy who makes the effort, tries to be the hero and ends up an idiot. The girl is sitting, crying on the swing in non-glamorous clothes. Damn you life.

The last 3-4 days were getting more and more dramatic by the minute now. And yes, I still havent informed Dad about all this. And ofcos, I havent spoken to One as yet. Does she still want to do this ? Is there a comma to the love story or a full stop ? Right now, there was a big fucking exclamation mark. But then, will she ever talk to me again ?

As I said, happy to be still surviving, rather unscathed. Everything else can be sorted out with time. A big lesson from the incident – Live today. Fight tomorrow. Fly high till next week ~

———————————

Happy New Year to all the readers. Hope you have a special and memorable year ahead. Apologies for the big break between the posts. To say the least, some unforeseen circumstances held me up.

Belated Birthday wishes to Rohit Murthy, Darshan Rajvir, Neelakantan, Sunil Tejwani, Chloe Nicole and Ashwin Kannamani. A very happy birthday to Preethi Rangamani, whose birthday luckily falls on the same day as this blog post… or rather, the other way around.

*********

My place, July 07, 2003. 0630 HRS.

School, One’s mom attacks, movie day, Batman at my place, My friends at one’s place…the previous day has not even sunk in when Mum woke me up…

Mum: Ananya is on the phone.

It took me a few seconds to realize where I was and what was happening. I slowly unmuted the phone and answered it with a blank mind.

Ananya: Bad morning, Arjun.

The blank mind filled itself up with all of last day’s events. The greeting gave it a negative finish.

Me: Yea, good morning to you too.

Ananya: Are you guys gone mad ?

Me: (smiling) Now none of this is making any sense to me…

Ananya: What did you guys do last evening ?

Me: (Not sure which part of the eventful day she was referring to) errr…. What did we do ?

Ananya: You guys went to One’s house, got her brother out and threatened to hurt him of he doesnt free his sister.

Me: Am sorry, my version of this is a lil different. We spok….

Ananya: ..doesnt matter what your version is. She has a different version.

Me: Why, what does she want now ?

Ananya: ‘She’ is the correspondent.

I froze for a minute. What was she doing at One’s place ?

Me: Right, Ananya. Do me a favour. Exactly, tell me what happened and is happening without the use of any pronouns.

Ananya: OMG. You guys went to one’s place like gangsters, got her brother outta the house and threatened him to let One talk to you or you were gonna hurt him there. He got all scared and agreed to let you guys away. Now, her mum has gone to complain to the correspondent about your mission and I dont know whts gonna happen.

I sat there emotion-less and speech-less for a second. My mind immediately processed some algorithms. The guys went to her place pretty late in the evening.. must have been 8-ish when they left. Now, its 0700 am.. there s no way her mum could hv gone to corres’ house in the interim.

Me: can I talk to One now ?

Ananya: You are unbelievable.

Me: Yes, ppl often say that. Now, you call her and find out if things are under control. If she s good to talk, then i ll call her.

Ananya: Right, I ll enter first and take the bullet. Then, you make heroic entry.

Com’on. Hasnt she watched it in the movies ? The best friend dies so that the hero gets the girl.

Me: Shut up. Call her. pleaaaaase..

Ananya: No, One asked me or any of you guys not to call her.

Everything well in place now.

I slowly got up to brush. A few mins later, the phone rang again… Now what ?

It was Yats’ mom.

Yats’ mom: Arjun, Whats happening.

Me:……

Yats’ mom: Can you come here ?

Me: Sure aunty, I will. Can I talk to Yats ?

Yats: Dude…

Me: Dude ???

Yats: What do you want me to say ?

Me: Anything nice…

Yats: I will. Come here, fast.

There was a remote possiblity of going to One’s place today and so, I quickly had a shower. Sadly, I had to skip breakfast. The phone buzzed again.

Yats: Update! One’s mum and brother are in Corres’ house now. No prizes for guessing wht they re talking about. Bye.

My heart started racing at full speed. I almost fell out of breath. I switched on the tv to get some distraction. The city had a local channel owned by the cable services and they used to telecast local events among other things. As I was switching the channels I happened to go past the local channel and noticed Corress’ face on it. Surely, this was haunting. I flipped back and well… it was her. She was being interviewed on this show called ’10 ways to poke your nose into other people’s lives and destroy it’. Mum was behind me and she said, “Leave it on… now that you re going out..”. I was surprised she didnt ask me where I was going this early but guessed she had given up. I tied my shoes and the phone rang again.

JD: Dude, you ok ?

That question was to be repeated throughout the day… and a few more months.

Me: Noooo..

JD: Come to Yats’ place.

Me: Ofcos.

Ofcos. Yats’ place was like a temple. Ecstacy or agony – things always took place there.

I looked into the mirror before starting… a superstition back then. The swoosh looked good on me. Just as I was about to leave home…

Dad: Its a Sunday and even by the time I get up, the phone has rung a million times and… and where are you going ? Jogging ?

Me: Good morning to you too… Go, watch tv or something…

*********

Yats’ place. 0800 HRS

Kumar a.k.a Kummi : Disaster…..

Me: What did you guys exactly do ?

Saddy (smiles) : This is big dude.

What all adjectives. This is not some glacier in front of the Titanic.

Panky : Hi.

Me: Ofcos, Hi. How s everyone doing ?

Voice from behind: Dont overact.

Guess we all know who that is.

Me: My man, what happenend ? Please tell me.

Yats: We happened to talk to Akki (One’s brother) and he took it a little seriously.

Me: Oh, you mean a little tooo seriously ?

Yats (louder voice) : What do you want us to do now ?

Even now, the guy doesnt calm down.

Me: Nothing. Definitely dont do anything more than this.

A bike stopped and parked on the outside. The guy got down with a pivot on the left leg. Got his shades off. Ran his fingers through his hair. Everytime when JD enters the scene, there is style but nobody seems to give a damn. Everyone looked away.

Yats’ mom: Oh, so the entire gang is here !?!

JD: Hello aunty.

Yats’ mom: I guess this is not the first time in the last 24 hours that you guys are standing as a gang outside someone’s house.

Amazing. Even aunty ! Sarcasm was becoming contagious in the Shah household.

Yats’ mom: What is happening ? I understand you are responsible for all this.

I didnt say a word. Didnt look her in the eye.

Yats’ mom: One’s mom is calling me and asking embarrasing questions. You guys are putting all the families in a lot of trouble.

No one said a word.

Yats’ mom: You actually called her brother out of the house when there were guests in their place…

What ? Did they ? That was the worst mistake to do… there are families which live in a society… but then, there are families which live for the society. The latter families never cared what their children wanted. All they were bothered about was ‘What will people think ?’. I shook my head within myself. Now, that obviously heats things up in her house.

Yats’ mom: … and told her brother, “Let her talk to Arjun or we wont let you walk into school”. What are you, rowdies ?

I slowly started losing my breath. This is getting worse by every sentence she says. Which hero told all this ? My intention was to make friends with her brother and family – not to kidnap him and ask for the girl as ransom. When Yats called me last night, it was simply ‘we asked him and he said ok’. He obviously censored the other part.

Yats’ mom: and which one of you showed a knife to him ?

I almost fainted. Knife ? This is getting a little too serious now. I stopped forming any excuses or justifications in my mind and started preparing for a very long day and year. If this was Yats’ mom, I could imagine Corres’ reaction.

Yats’ mom: Com’ on Arjun. Speak up. You give so many speeches in the assembly.

I kept quiet and hoped something happened. The phone rang. Aunty’s face pretty much said what I felt in the morning – Now what ?

I guess it couldnt have got any worse. I looked at the guys around.

Yats: Sit guys.

Ah. I was proud of the fact that our guy didnt forget his guest-welcoming skills amidst tragedy.

JD: Can I have some water ?

Now, this is taking that a lil too far.

Me: Yea, bring toast and coffee as well.

JD: Dude…

Me: Dont dude me (walking a lil away). What the fuck did you guys think you were doing ? Why would you threaten him ? Now, how am I supposed to ever patch things up with her family ?

Yats: So thats your problem ?

Me: Yea, that too… I cant believe you are justifying this.

Yats kept quiet.

Me: And who the fuck carried a knife ? What are we – Godfather and Italian mafia ?

Kummi: But they carry guns.

Me: Dude, you better shut up.

Kummi: What are you over-reacting for ?

Right. Now, I am over-reacting.

Kummi: We went there with noble intentions. Just that it got a little aggressive along the way.

It was unbelievable how cool the guys were.

Yats: Listen, things are not as bad as they sound. It was just that there were so many people around him when we spoke that it looked aggressive… and we never showed him a knife. Thats an exaggeration. Kummi showed this pencil-sharpening blade. So, you can imagine how everything else is similarly blown out of proportion.

That was Yats’ sweet way of turning the bottle towards Kummi. I looked at Kummi.

Me: Do you carry a pencil-blade with you ?

Kummi: Yesterday, I happened to.

Me: Did you carry a pencil ?

Kummi: NO.

Me: Then why the fuck did you carry the pencil-blade ?

Panky caught me by the shoulders and made me sit down.

Panky: You dont make any sense.

It was amazing how the guys actually made me feel useless and worthless.

JD: Yats, the water I asked for dude.

Yats: Hang on JD. Guys, is there anything we can do to settle this down ?

By asking the question, Yats made sure he doesnt have to answer it.

Me: Yeah, maybe talk to her parents. Oh wait, you guys already did that. Thats why we are here.

Panky: Why do you keep saying ‘you guys’ ? We did it for you.

Emotional blackmail. Bastards. I hung my head. Well, in a way, yes. Actually, in all ways, Yes. It was for Me. How could I possibly explain to them that I loved the fact that they wanted to do something for me.. but certainly not that way. I am pretty sure I would have come up with a way to talk to her parents about this. But then, that would have meant I alone would have been in trouble. So yea, I ll take this.

Me: Anybody has got any decent plans ?

Voice: Oh, you are already making more plans now ? Now what, kidnap her family ?

It was Raj uncle, Yats’ uncle who lived nextdoor.

Raj Uncle: Can I talk to you guys for a min ?

Right then. Round 2. This was turning into a boxing match. We were the opponents whose hands were unfairly tied.

Raj Uncle sat. I made sure I maintained a proper distance in case he decides to convert the boxing simulation to live. All of us had already got into the position of hands tied and hung heads.

Raj Uncle: What were you guys doing last night ?

I wanted to say: Oh uncle, my armed-mates were crashing into my girlfriend’s house while I was getting slapped at home by mum. What did you have for dinner?

Raj Uncle: (after the mini recollection of threatening, knife-holding) Whose girl-friend here is One ?

I proudly put my hand up.

Raj Uncle: Whats your name ?

Ah. I just realised we had not been formally introduced. Raj Uncle was actually going after my case all this while even without knowing who I was.

Me: Hello uncle, I am Arjun (put my hands forward).

Raj uncle was a gentleman. We shook hands. For the rest of the day, I was only shaking my head.

He checked on my family credentials.

Raj Uncle: Oh, I know your dad.

Hang on. Isnt that the line people say to Yats – I know your dad ? Now, how does he know my Dad ? Damn Google. Every person that day was bringing a new bad news.

Raj Uncle: You couldnt go yourself and so you sent your friends.

I went back to default head-hanging position. My image and bravery were being seriously tarnished here. This is gonna take some recovery.

Yats: No, he never knew about it. We went ourselves.

Raj Uncle: Oh, for a friend ? (sarcastically)

Yats: Yes.

Raj Uncle: Shut up.

Thats funny. Then why did he ask. The attention was back on me.

Raj Uncle: Do you know how bad your parents will feel when they come to know ? I know it. My elder son is a good kid but when my younger son gets complaints like ‘he hit my son, he threw stones’, I get very embarrassed.

Damn. Elder brothers suck. It suddenly struck my mind that Raj uncle’s younger son, Yats’ lil cousin brother – Prats was in the same class as One’s younger sister, Soni. I laughed at the possibility that Me and Prats could be relatives one day and her family will have two maniac, troublesome son-in-laws. And yea, Raj uncle and One’s dad were college friends and are family friends ever since. Obviously, sharing the bench was a genetic feature. Damn, it was a small city and every fucking person knew each other like in some short story. I promised myself that if I am ever going to have another girlfriend, she will be from an anti-social family based out of the Siberian caves, whose parents have never had friends.

Raj Uncle: Do you have any idea how much this will impact your future ? I should say, you guys have great unity. Your team-work, spirit and organisation are pretty good. But you use it for the wrong reasons.

Suddenly, we sounded like the Al-Qaeda.

Raj Uncle: You guys can change things around you. You can organise a network to clean-up the city. You can do anything you like. Just make sure the things you like are the correct ones.

Jokes apart, that line of Raj Uncle sprung up years later, when I was reading my diary and went on to influence a life-changing decision I made. Not that you guys care, but am trying to let you guys know how every element of that day shaped a part of each person involved.

Raj Uncle: But this time, no one is going to save you.

Knockout punch ! Thanks for the blessing. Will someone ring the bell please. My hung-head slowly started to ache the neck. Legs were aching cos of standing. I wasnt used to staying quiet for this long and I started to get bored now. Kummi almost slept standing there. Eventually, Raj uncle was done.

All this while Yats stood there with an innocent face like the kid in ‘Taare Zameen Par – Every child is special’.

Nobody spoke a word. The date of 07/07 on my watch caught my attention. Please, no useless numbers now. This was supposed to be the day I was going to tell my friends about me asking One out. I am sure most of them guessed it when I stupidly put my hand up to Raj Uncle’s “whose girlfriend is One” question. Or maybe, they didnt pay attention. Am sure Yats did. It was only a matter of us being alone and he will bring it up.

Yats’ mom broke my mental maths.

Yats’ mom: I just spoke to Corress. You guys should go there and talk to her.

Cant she talk to One’s mom and we go, talk to her ? I thought of One’s mom for a sec. Its ok, we will meet Corress.

JD: Dude, can I have the water ?

Me: JD, shut up and die.

Panky (pushing him towards the garden pipe) Go, suck into that pipe and drink water. Shut up now.

JD: I wont go to Corress’ house.

Me: You fuckin will. All of us will. And you wont open your mouth.

JD: You shut up. I wont.

I couldnt beleive he was sayin this after all that was happening. Yats noticed the fury, came towards JD and slowly pushed him back towards the wall holding his shoulders. JD’s head slowly rested on the wall. Yats went close. For a second, I thought they were gonna kiss. But then, Yats said something like ‘clam down, we will go there and work things out. We wont compromise’.

My first direct meeting with the enemy was at their fort. And I am unarmed. I have no case. Basically, am fucked.

***************

Corress’ place, 1200 HRS

Corress: Wait outside, let me bring a chair.

Yats: Damn, we dont need this. Last thing we want is getting insulted by this idiot.

Me: Calm down, its her day. Out of our control.

The disgust on JD’s face on being there and expecting to be treated like crap by Corress was evident on his face. He probably hated her more than all of us  due to a combination of multiplying reasons in the past. Panky and Saddy were sharing a joke as Corress walked out with a chair, only for her. To be honest, after all the ‘culture’ crap she has been feeding all these years, she didnt have the basic manners of treating guests at home – no matter who they are – a feature, the so-called ‘rebel’ maverick Yats and his parents had, when we were at his place that morning.

The firing started and was fierce from the first shot – like we expected anything else. It was like a gang war at school – her team looking for an opportunity to nail us down. Everytime, we had been getting away due to smartness, luck and sometimes plain, unreasonable simplicity. All the anger and skeletons buried were being taken out of the closet that day. But in spite of all the hostility we were expecting, this was getting more serious. a lot more serious.

Corress: I just gave this interview a few days ago about how our boys always protect the girls wherever they are… and Arjun, your mom called me this morning to congratulate me about it and at the same time, One’s mom is here complaining about you guys. You can imagine how I would have felt.

Damn. My mom just cant shut up. What would she be Indian Larry King and be gratty to people. And Corress of all people… I hung my head as the guys looked at me with sickness and disgust. I was ashamed of what my mom had done to the opposite camp. You can imagine how I would have felt… and protecting girls. Now, this is taking things a lil misinterpreted. Yes, we protect the girls. But then, we protect ‘our’ girls more. and they are ‘our’ girls for a reason. We are together. Its like a man-to-woman marking defense strategy. And the girls like being with us. I dont see a problem. Corress surely lives in a bubble.

Corress: And am sure you guys dont go to school to study anymore. I know what each of you is upto.

None of us understood what that meant. But we knew the next few sentences could be make or break. or shud I say break.

Corress: All of you have a girlfriend… and in some cases, more than one (looking at Panky).

Mavericks: ……………..

Corress: You guys charted this master-plan to take your respective girls for the movie yesterday. Perfectly set all the people and parents up. Organised who s picking who up and where. These brains can surely work for something more creative. Yats has a girl from Yosef school. Arjun has One. Kummi likes Shal. Panky has a girl in Luny, Yosef… i have lost count now. There s another guy who likes Ani. Is there anyone single ?

Mavericks: ……………..

Corress: Yats is apparently the mastermind. Never realised you had so much talent. And kummi, you dared to carry a knife with you ? What do you guys think you are ? Like some tamil movie, you are tryin to elope the heroine for the hero. This is completely intolerable. You guys with your lifestyle, girlfriend and activities are going way beyond the limit.

There were lots of parallel, confusing thoughts running in my mind. Besides the shock, how did she come to know all this ? So much in depth and detail. Yes, each line of it is true except the knife part. But the pencil blade is not going to reveal academic brilliance, so avoid. The scarier part was what more did she know ? Was there a rat among us ? Lets find out I thought.

Me: Not all of that is true ma’m.

Corress: Really, now you will tell me what is true and what is not ? Go on. Tell me.

Me: Me and One are not in a relationship… neither are the others.

No one noded. Idiots.

Me: When we went there, it was not to elope or hijack her. It was only to talk to her brother and clear any misunderstanding. Obviously, the method we used was not the correct one and we realise that.

I thought that was a well-framed, neat defensive sentence. Corress didnt think so.

Corress: Stop bloughing. You told One about all your friends’ relationships – who s with who, how and everything. Did you lie to her as well ? Because, she told me all this.. and a lot more.

I froze for the moment. Being me, the first thought that popped in my mind was if Corress was playing a game. Is she trying to see if we will accept stuff by ourselves. But then, if One really has told all this and we try acting smart and denying, we are in deep shit. Catch 22. Silence was the best option and we chose that.

Corress: And Panky now, likes a new girl and wants One’s help with that. I have no idea where this is going.

Neither did I. Surely, this has to be One. Only Panky, Yats, JD and I knew this. Damn sure none of them is a rat. I took a deep breath. My girl-friend is in deep trouble with her parents. My friends’ attempted mission for my sake was a disaster and we are in deep shit. Everyone’s every possible detail was out. And now, my girl has turned all of us in. This was slowly becoming the worst day of my life. All I can do about is stay quiet and watch it roll.

Corress: I think I will have to suspend you guys from school for 2 days, strip off all your postings in the school. No body will know the reason. But that way, it will be a lesson for the other students on what will happen if you take bad ways.

Nobody will know the reason.. so how will they get the lesson ? Commendable logic ! Why dont you just say, “Bastards, I got the plot. You have been caught red-handed, the heroine is my witness and I have the case. Now, you are fucked.”

The number of times we said sorry never ended for the rest of the afternoon. With complete anger and utmost grudge, we knew it was her day and we had to give it to her. One lesson learnt the hard way – never commit such blunders where you are completely defense-less and you have to suffer, speechless at the hands of the enemy. Cos if you screw up, no one is gonna show any mercy.

For the next few hours, the discussion strayed from the attack on One’s house to our relationships, our activities and even our interests. Obviously, it was a one-sided game with Corress scoring from every pass… like player 2′s device was not working. What else do you expect other than a complete thrashing. Thrashing it was. Mavericks were being put to the sword. I cant help but recalling my friend’s analogy a few years later : “You know you want it. Badly. Really do. But somehow you just cant get hold of it. Always denied. Like some tease. And then, one day, its there. you get it. What happens? “. It happened that day at Corress’s place.

I quickly realised that it was the relationship part that was hurting us more. I felt more guilty about this than before when I realised the guys did it for me. I was still trying to convince myself that One had a good reason to do this… I understand a head nod. But every single detail ? I am sure Corress knew what my email password was. Description and detail to the finest level. Everytime, Corress mentioned “Arjun told One and One told me..”, I felt like I was  responsible for the whole thing. Another lesson learnt – yes, she s your girlfriend. But never disclose every minute thing to her. Its good for the both of you. Not to say that every girl would have done the same. The looks towards me were getting dirtier. I wish the jetpack from tht Dave game was true and I could fly off from there.

She told us to go home now and that we will be suspended.

Corress: It will be displayed on the notice board tomorrow.

Ofcos, she had to declare victory. For some reason, I misheard ‘notice board’ as newspaper. Maybe I didnt mishear.

We went back in total guilt, failure, tiredness and anger. I was hoping the guys wouldnt murder me, now that we are suspended anyways. Back to Yats’ place. The guys dispersed to random places in and around the house for food, water and shelter. Me and Yats were on the swing couch. I slowly looked at him and told him,

Me: I love One.

Yats turned away. Rude fuck.

Yats: Doesnt matter anymore.

Me: Not that. I was going to tell you guys today but…

Yats: I know that. You didnt say a word against her. I mean, all the guys are scolding her for being the fuckin rat. I know you feel the worst about this and her role in this. But you never said a word against her inspite of her epic biographies of your friends to Corress… and when Raj uncle asked ‘whose gf is One’, you out your hand up like you were answering attendance call.

I was not sure if he was consoling me or rubbing it in. The guys started assembling back.

Yats (as he got up): You tell them that you love her. I wont.

After all this, I was not sure if they would hug me in ecstasy on hearing the name. I put my head down on my knees. I had no clue of what to do. Lets formulate this. My friends felt bad for me and approached her brother. Wrong way, yes, but it was cos they connected with me and One. We are in trouble because of ourselves, but it was for her and I. And then what happens ? She turns them in. The irony was striking. What else has she told Corress about ? Thank goodness, she left the bet part and all that alone. JD put a hand on my shoulders.

JD: Are you ok ?

Me: I am sorry.

JD: Why should you apologise for that fucking…….. its ok. Dont be.

Me: I never knew she would do this. I cant think of a reason of why she did this. I still dont think she did it.

JD: Calm down. I understand your state of denial. We didnt do anything great last night either. She only returned the favour.

We chatted for sometime and decided we will roll the dice one last time. We decided to re-enter enemy camp hoping Corress would have recovered from her victory celebrations and hoped a change of mind.

——————————–

Corress’ place. 1600 hrs.

Corress: The boys are back !

Yea, Backstreet’s back. I always liked her sarcasm.

Yats: Sorry ma’m. Dont suspend us.

Not bad. The guy was down to business straight away.

The ‘sorry-no’ saga went on for sometime. Then the lessons on behaviour, character went on.

Corress: If wealth is lost, nothing is lost. If health is lost, something is lost. If character is lost, everything is lost.

Yawnnnnn.. If iphone is lost, all my contacts are lost and the award-winning American series is Lost. Seriously, why cant you skip the lesson and tell us the decision fast. I am hungry now.

I looked around to distract myself from the boredom. I noticed Corress’ garden. It was July and autumn hadnt even set in. There were loadsa dry leaves and dirt among the plants, in serious need of some attention. Reminded me of the analogy – clean you house before you clean the world. Just then, Corress’ line discontinued my attempt at Botany.

Corress: The point is you guys were trying to harm her brother for no reason.

JD: No ma’m. She is willing to talk to him ma’m. Its her brother who is not letting her talk.

Corress got up from her chair and slapped JD on his left cheek. We were all quite stunned at her reaction and more stunned by JD’s words. Really, all that we were telling her about realising the mistake, feeling bad and all that was down the drain. I wished we could slap him as well. The whole expression on JD’s face was so funny that Yats, Panky and I laughed. Thankfully, Yats didnt laugh like he normally does. The timing of JD, at a time when we were looking like convincing her, was brilliant. This whole exercise did not have any effect on him ? Hilarious. Surely, there must be a miracle left for us. Only that can save us now. Corress went on a marathon.

Corress: Alright JD. Tomorrow I will ask Yats to take your sister out. Lets see what you will do.

JD looked at Yats like he was actually gonna do it. I was hoping Jd didnt say anything like “No ma’m. I wont say anything”. She would have probably suspended us first and then expelled us.

None of us had ever seen Corress slapping someone. JD gave us a first. He always likes to be the first in things. It was clear that Corress’s tactical game was slowly wearing us down. We were beginning to say and do things we would never have. I knew I had to say something to steady this right there. Something nobody had ever told before. Like the line of the century or something. I took a deep breath and said it.

Me: We are sorry ma’m.

Corress: Shut up Arjun.

Damn. That was not the line.

Corress : Fine. I wont suspend you. But I want to talk your parents. Bring them. Now.

Parents ? Can you just suspend us, am ready to walk away.
—————————-

Corress’ house. 1800 hrs.

None of this made any sense anymore. It was like things were happening around me in full speed and I was standing there blurred and helpless. The day was getting longer. All the parents were there. Yats’ mom, JD’s dad, Panky’s dad, Kummi’s dad and my Mom. The look on their faces was embarrassing. If at all there was a day when I let mom down, it was that day. None of us had the guts to look into their eyes. To an extent Yats’ mom was amidst the action and she was trying to tell the other parents what had happened cos none of them had a clue. In normal days, we hardly meet JD’ dad but I remember the first time I was at his place back in the days when my face read ‘I am innocent’. I recollected our meeting and our conversation about Cal. I had the highest respect for him. Co-incidentally, that was the day JD and I framed the bet. Does this rewind button work at all ?

As the parents were together, Yats and I discussed.

Yats: You can understand what Corress did. If One was there with us here, One will never tell her all these stuff about us. So, she used the opportunity and got things out of One, knowing that you would have told One all your secrets. One had no idea of Corress’ cunningness and she gave in. Politician, our Corress in.

Slowly the reverse psychology set in.

Me: Hang on, is she doing the same to us now ?

Yats: As in ?

Me: One, in front of her parents had no option but to tell the truth… turn us in. She s hoping we will do the same in front of our parents and turn each other in. So, she called our parents and see us, one at a time.

Brilliant. In no time, we called the guys together and explained the logic of this. They got it right away. Such things went in very easily for us.

JD: But no one s gonna do anything like that.

Everyone nodded. When we turned, we saw our parents looking at us with disgust. We returned to the day’s default position of hanging head.

JD and his dad were first. When they returned, his dad was talking to him first, and judging by JD’s reaction, it didnt go well. What did Corress tell his dad ? About Vids ? Please… JD’s dad knew more probably. Next was Yats and his mom. I didnt know what to expect when my turn came up.

Corress: I dont know what to tell you. You called me in the morning to wish me on the interview and now, am interviewing you about your son.

Mom: What are you going to do to him ma’m ?

I looked at mom with surprise. What sort of a line is that ? “What are you going to do to him ?”. She s gonna put me on the gullitone and butcher my head in Hostel 2 style. Are you gonna say yes ?

Corress (looking at me): Arjun, You were a good kid when you came in. What happened then ? Why did you become like this ?

Ma’m, I dont know. I got together with these guys. I lost interest in studies and started going out a lot more. I liked this girl, One and my friends encouraged me to go after her. They have completely brain-washed me. Even they have girlfriends and talk and engage in loadsa rubbish. I want to get away from them ma’m. Isnt that what you want me to say ? Bitch.

I saw the strategic loop she had created here. What sort of character does she preach about ? Turning your friends in , during times of trouble is definitely not the feature you want to instill in your students. Perhaps this place hadnt witnessed her hypocrisy and cunning intentions like we did or they would understand why we say she s not the person she looks.

Me: What has happened to me, ma’m ? Am I a bad kid now ?

Mom understood the counter-sarcasm in my words straightaway.

Mom: Dont you talk to her like that.

I shut up. Sometimes, when parents and teachers go into the same team, its like playing against the referee. You just cant win.

For the next few mins, Corress tried her best to get my side of the story. She took her second best question out.

Corress: Why did you not go there last evening ? Were you afraid ?

Me (smiled): I didnt know they were there. But had I known, I would have stopped them.

Corress:  And be the hero ?

Me: No. its my problem. They dont have to get involved. I was planning to talk to her parents on Monday about how they have wrongly understood the scenario.

Corress: You mean you and One ?

No, I mean Me and Megan fox.

Me: Yes.

Corress: So you tell me ? Whats the truth ? I will believe you.

Me: Me and her are good friends.

Corress: Nothing more ? a lil more ? a special friend ?

Me: As special as Yats is.

She didnt like the punch. It was like a game of chess. When you know what the opposition is trying to do, you crack every move of theirs, they cant do much. But the toughest part is cracking the plot. And it took us 5 mins outside her house to do it. Much more could have been lost had we failed to do that. Corress approached this from a different angle now.

Corress: So Yats was there at her place yesterday. What did he tell you about this ?

Me: When he called me, he said that they spoke to her brother and that Akki said he ll sort this out on Monday. If Yats had seen something unusual, he would have told me.

Corress: How did he call you ?

Me: From his mobile phone.

Corress: Whats with that ? Is he some businessman ? Why do children of your age have a mobile phone ?

Oh, why do grown-ups of your age have a problem with it ? some questions dont have answers.

Corress: You gotta stay away from One.

My mind reached out to her. I could imagine the pressure she would have gone through with her parents first and then the drama with the gang and then at Corress’ place. Not that turning us in was right, but then what we did wasnt either. Stay away ? If there was a time she needed me, well, am gonna be there. You can suspend me or shoot me for all you like. I cant ditch a person in the hour of need – friend, family, girl-friend or some stranger for that matter.

Corress: Dont worry, I wont suspend you. Or any of the others. One’s mom called in the evening amidst the drama and told me that she only wanted to warn you guys and does not want to blackmark your TC’s by suspending you.

Corress went on to tell mom about how I had changed in the past few months and I was getting away from my studies and what not. She requested her to try and keep me away from the gang and that she told the other parents the same thing. My mom agreed to take care of things going forward. One thing was clear and I pointed this out to Mom later. The whole time, she hardly spoke about what happened at One’s place. She was more intent on driving me away from my friends. What noble intentions.

The informal PTA was over. Now it was the turn of the parents.

Yats’ mom: Arjun, you stay away from One.

Oh yea. She pretty much summed up the problem.

JD’s Dad: Even when we were young, there was Tumtum complex. We never hung out there till the end of time like you guys. And why do you need a girl at this age ? At your age, if I tie a saree to a tree, even that ll look like a girl. Learn to keep control of yourself and concentrate on stuff that are more important.

We couldnt believe all this had happened and that we had put our parents through all this. It was night when I reached home and it was dinner time. Inspite of the perhaps the longest day in my life and me being tired from head to toe, I couldnt sleep. Once everyone else had slept, I raided the kitchen and got food.

My mind went back to what One’s mom did by requesting Corress to let us go, scot-free. It was very generous of her. Especially towards me, considering the fact that she had never seen me – the guy who, according to her, has been stalking her daughter and storming the peace out of her house. I hadnt even seen her mum and I was already shit scared of her. I decided to sleep over this. Making decisions in a frenzy or despair or anger never bring correct decisions.

This was a black day in Maverick history. 2 days ago, we were working on HTML notes and joking our way around. 48 hours and a visit to the Corress’ house later, things had turned on their head. I didnt know who was right and wrong and what could have been done and what should not have been done. I was in a state of utter confusion. One more day like this and I wont be able to handle this. Everything had changed. None of our lives would be the same. The Mavericks would never be the same again. The sun would never rise again. Never ever.

Fly high till next week~

Happy Birthday to Nikita Arora, Aniket Agarwal and Saranya Viswanathan.

**********************************

By the time I could try and make sense of what was happening, it was time for class. I went in, not knowing if One was pissed with me – she wouldnt cry on that – or if there was something more serious – more probable. By the time I reached my studying chair, Yats had got all the information and when he came by, it did not look right.

Yats: Her parents found about you guys.

I: ………..

Yats: When One called yesterday, her mom was on the parallel line and One said stuff like you are, now in Arjun’s house n all that… and to complete the picture, I went to her place to give your HTML notes as she requested on the phone. She never came out, her mom did.. with a “hand-the-notes-over-and-leave-or-i’ll-shoot-you” look. and….

I: (in my mind – Oh, is there more to this ?) And what ?

Yats: One doesnt look right.

I: Ofcos she wouldn’t, after all this.

Yats: No, I mean, Ani said there are marks by her face and neck.

I turned away from Yats and sat down in disbelief. Its one of those moments when millions of things are running in your mind and multiple instruction processing has just become impossible – what was that ??? Damn, she actually got assaulted… we are busted.. yeah, they are her parents but does that give anyone the right to manhandle a girl… com’on not this gurl atleast… the poor thing must hv been in pain… is in pain… must hv cried… is still in tears.. n why am I feeling responsible and guilty for the whole thing ??? …. blank… someone temme that did not happen !

I slowly looked towards her… and noticed her looking at me with a tear by the edge of her left eye. I felt like hiding my face and digging a hole in the ground. You know when there is deep tension between the borders of your heart and there is that sinking feeling. You know you are in deep shit and you hv no clue of what has to be done. Exactly what Yats proposed at the first break.

Yats: Alright, calm down now. What do we do now ?

I: I have no idea… I want to talk to her first.

Me and Yats looked up and One was missing from the class.

Yats: Lets go down and see the other guys – they must be curious abt the movie plan.

I: Go on dude, am stayin here.

As Yats was moving out, the guys came in as a gang – the usual suspects were there.

JD (to me): Whats happening dude, are you ok ?

Dinesh : Macha, why are sitting like someone died ?

Yats: Kummi, shut the fuck up. (told the TGIF events to the gang).. there were the ‘damn! crap! fuck! screwed! doomed!’ reactions.

Kummi: So, she isnt coming to the movie ?

I couldnt believe he just said that. Is he kidding o wht ??? I rose my hung head and gave a stare at him. Yats did the talkin and it suited.

Yats: Son of a… you’re still bothered about the movie… do you ever consider keeping shut ?

The gang dissolved in a while and Ani appeared.

Ani: Whose plan was the movie ?

I: What do you want Ani ?

Ani: Yats, yours ?

Yats: Are you gonna handsomely reward me ?

Ani: No (laughs).. so when am I meeting Rags ? straight at the movies or somewhere else ?

Another one. I couldnt believe this. Is this some crazy dream where all weird characters turn up, talk crap and behave strangely…

Yats: Yes, straight at the movies (cutting her short). Now will you tell us exactly what happened with One ? (in an agitated tone)

Ani: What do you mean by ‘what happened ‘. Her mom found about her and Arjun talking ‘secretly’ over the phone.. scolded and beat her up… with mental taunts and character blackmails… and its all because of your friend.

She said it. I didnt want to hear that. Cos I knew, she was right.

BTW, Yats hates when someone explodes on his face. He puffed some air and came back level-minded.

Yats: All this cant happen cos of one person Ani. So lets stop playing blame-game. He wants to talk to her.

Ani: But she doesnt want to..

I had enough of this.

I (gettin up to Ani): Why not ? Did she say that ?

Ani: Well, not exactly. She kinda walked out the moment breaktime began.

By this time, One was back in the classroom. In her studying chair, head rested downwards on the desk. The normally cheerfull Deepa mam walked in… with a serious face. Is anybody gonna smile at all ??? What was with this day ? I looked at the blackboard to see the date – 06/July/2003. Just then, my left brain popped up a piece of useless numerical trivia – tomorrow the date would be 07/07. Damn, why does my mind work this way ? Does it work at all… cos looks like I have screwed up badly. To distract myself, I looked sideways and spotted Dars. He was laughing ear-to-ear over some joke from Vish. I wanted to punch him right between the teeth in such a way that the middle 4 would go missing. I visualised Dars without the middle 4 teeth and smiled a little. Yats saw me doing that and whispered: “Look front, you fuckface.”

Maybe that was a message. Not the fuckface part, the ‘looking front’ part.

I spent the next few mins thinking what I should be doing. Why couldnt her parents also talk to me before making cat-sprawls on her. If they would hv been ok with us talkin on phone at the first place, this wouldnt hv to be ‘secret’. I guess no parents would.. atleast in our ‘civilized’ society. The old plans of making some sort of contact with her family came to point – maybe I shud have persisted. I then realized all this was not exactly looking forward. At the end of it, I concluded: What the hell. Screw this place and society. Screw the system and its people. I love her and I cant possibly be letting her face this alone. But first, I have to talk to her. I was dying for it. Where is she!

She was standing by herself by the kindergarten school. My delirious speed towards her slowed down. She was looking the side away from me, her hands folded. All her weight was on her left knee, slightly bent. Her angled body and folder hands, looking the wrong way looked like a scene from the movies where the heroine was standing on a mountain top, enjoying nature… when she suddenly hears her hero from behind, turns around with her hair swinging with her, sees the guy, smiles pleasingly and comes running into his arms. The hero will then try to kiss her, the heroine will feel his breath on her body, close her eyes like she has just smoked cocaine and turn away. Newes…

I: The last time I knew, phone conversations didnt hurt people so much.

She turned and looked at me. Her hair swung with her. Then, she looked down. Err, that was not exactly running into my arms. I went close, lifter her head by her chin. I bet she needed a hug. I noticed a dark red spot under her left ear and on the neck by the chord. I wanted to kiss her on the wound on the neck. Just then, I heard a voice from the sides – “what are you doing, Anna (tamil for ‘elder brother’) ?”. My heart froze. I decided that if this was some teacher, I am gonna run towards the hills at max. speed…. with her ofcos. I turned and saw this lil’ pesky kid. Thank goodness, I did not kiss her on the wound and set him an unhygienic example.

I: Go to your class, kid. Akka is crying and I am trying to console her.

Pesky Kid : Why is Akka (tamil for ‘elder sister’) crying ?

I: Because she did not do homework and teacher scolded her.

Pesky Kid: Why didnt she do homework ?

I: Because she was talking on phone.

Pesky Kid: To you (giggling) ?

Right, now even he knows. Everybody knows.

I: Run to your class before you start crying.

The pesky kid ran away. I turned and saw that by the time ‘Question Hour’ was over, One was walking away. Should I go after One or chase down the kid and smack him. I decided to go to One. I can always come back and smack the kid.

I: One, stop.

And she did. Right there. By the construction work on the junior block.

I: I am sorry.

One: Sorry for what ?

Why does she always ask that when I say sorry. Are there a number of stuff that I should be apologizing for ? I mean, she knows why.

I: You know it, One. This had to happen sometime. I guess your parents have their reasons.

She looked up, breathing fire. Right, not the consolation she was looking for. Damn, I suck at this.

I: What do we do now, One ?

Well, by history and reputation, that should have been her question.

One: I dunno, you tell me.

I: I ll come and see your parents. I ll tell them it was my idea. (Err… what am I saying ???)

One : DONT! There is enough of trouble in my house. You dont have to add to them.

I have noticed that everytime One comes with a negative statement with subjects of ‘Dont’, ‘No’, ‘Never’, ‘Not’, the left corner of her lips form a delta like shape. Makes her look cute(r). Ok, I wont go praising my one and only One and create drama, ahem ahem.

I: No, I’m not gonna add trouble. I will talk to them and whatever it is, they can scold me or even beat me if they like. But it will end this.

One: Yeah, it will end this. Thats what you want right. End this!

As she ended this sentence, she turned teary-eyed and walked away. No, thats not what I meant. I meant it will end this fiasco and settle things down. Gawddd… My romantic movie was slowly turning into a dark n sad, heavy metal song… with beats from the construction site of hammers slamming the iron rods – see, metal!

I sat in the school bus like a bundle of flesh parked on leather. As Yats’s stop came by, he left saying ‘See you at the movie’. Crap. The movie. I completely lost track of whats happening with it. Now that Yats said it, it means it was still on.

(20 mins later, on the phone)

I: How s the movie plan going ?

Yats: Going good, there s a little change though. Cos One is not coming, Ananya is coming alone and she s telling her aunt that she ll be at Vids’s place.

I: Hang on, But Vids will tell her parents that she ll be at Nagu’s place.. that breaks the chain.

Yats: Cant help it dude.

I: Sorry I was not able to contribute to all this today.

Yats: Thats ok, you hv your own shit to deal with.

I: Why would her mom hurt her ?

Yats: You mean, more than you have ?

I: Com’ on.

Yats: Kidding. Yes, she didnt have to hurt her. She should have hurt you.

I: I think thats gonna happen next.

Yats: I understand the marks on her cheeks – she slapped her. But marks on the neck ? Did her mom bite her as well ?.. or did you ?

I: ……(laughing from the bottom of my stomach)…(laughing stops).. Actually, you have a point.

Yats: Yeah, now dont ask her about the neck like a loser. We ll go talk to her parents sometime.

I: About the neck ?

Yats: Noooooo, about the friendship epic you and One share.

Damn. I havent told Yats about the proposal yet. Or none of the other guys. Crap. How and when am I gonna do this ? This is slowly getting worse.

Yats: I ll hv lunch and come to your place. And dont be whining all the while in the movie. We ll sort this out. Dont worry.. and dont be carrying a dumb-ass face to the movie. Sheetal s coming.

Ofcos. Yats’ Sheetal is coming. Not just that. Panky’s Tejal is coming. Rags’ Ani is coming. Vids’ JD is coming. Oh, sorry. JD’s Vids is coming. But.. but… but.. MY ONE is not. If only I had superpowers…….

I thought if I should bunk the movie and go to One’s house and see her parents. Oh, what if her parents are taking an afternoon nap ? Oh, that ll be even better. Just then, the mouse-pad hit my face. Had to be Yats. How fast is this guy.

I: Dont you use door-bells ?

Yats: Not when the door is wide open.

Crap. I turned away.

Yats: Its not your day.

I: Oh, thanks for the breaking news. Where s the rest of the crew ?

Yats: Oh, they are with their respective girl-friends…

I: Enough. Leave.

Yats: Yes, I am… with you.

The sun came down mercilessly that day. The movie theatre complex was crowded. The gang and their ‘WAGS’ slowly started assembling. Everyone stood in pairs of two. Myself with Ananya. Oh, hang on. No, I dont score goals on both sides. Ananya had no boyfriend – doesnt mean she cant come to the movie, ryt. And she had earned enough trust to be invited. Bet the number of tickets bought that day was divisible by 2. Another useless numerical trivia.

I stood there thinking of One and the hell she ll be going through at home. And I am at a movie. Clearly, I was whining. JD came towards me, put his hands around my shoulder.

JD: If One’s mom saw you with this face, she ll never give her daughter to you.

Yats: Yeah, you should consider a plastic surgery.

JD: I didnt mean that idiot. Oh, actually, his normal face is not that great either.

Laughs all around. Some of them came to me to pep me up and walk me to the screen. Vids came around and assured that everthting will be ok. At the screen, everybody sat in pairs. No, wait. They didnt. Dinesh a.k.a Kummi was sittng on his own. No , I was wrong. The ticket number is not divisible by 2. There s a remainder of…damn….ONE.

The movie Kadhal Kondain (translating to “I fell in love”), to be honest, was a brilliant one. I realised this when I watched it a second time, months later. That day, I was not watching the movie. I was thinking about irony. I initiate something so that all the girls get to know each other. Know each other, they did. Except one.

Kadhal Kondain (2003)

I turned around and looked at the gang. Not everyone was watching the movie there as well. But for different reasons. I guess everyone has their own lives. I knew they were there for me but at the end of the day, it was my problem. Its not often you get to go out with your girl and they deserved every moment of this. Yes, we are all friends, all said and done – this was my crap to deal with. They didnt have to spoil their day for me. Or how I really wish they thought on the same lines… till the end of that day.

I suddenly felt a gentle hand by my ears on my cheeks. It was Ananya sitting besides me.

Me: No Ananya, I cant kiss you.

Ananya: Shut up. I wanted to ask you…You love her, dont you ?.

I smiled at her and happily said ‘Yes, I love her’. No more games.

Then came this part in the movie when the couple on screen started kissing in a song. I had enough. I left the screen and came outside to grap some Pepsi. I sat on the staircase. I became all nostalgic for some minutes. Why did I come here from Cal ? Come here, searching for trouble. Amidst completely small-hearted and narrow-minded people… or how long am I gonna be blaming the people and their mindset. How about my own mistakes. If parents find about their kid’s secret service engagements, parents in any corner of the country will blow up. I can end this relationship right here. Only the two of us know about it. Its gonne be easy for her and everybody else. Do I need to be whining and cribbing at a time I am supposed to be having fun with my friends ? The answer was a YES. I need this. Cos I need her. Ya, its only a few weeks since we got into each other. But that was besides the point. She s in all this for me and there s no way I can back out. And also, I love her. I am gonna take us through this. This will mean lot more challenges coming our way. But, I was damn sure, that if we are together.. and that includes my gang, I can get through all of them. You dont stop learning to drive at the first time you fall. You dont stop studying at the first time you fail an exam. You dont stop shooting at the first goal you miss. So why should I ? Giving up has never been a feature of my life and never will be. In fact, all these challenges, issues, scandals and ‘troubles’ made me and One stronger – each and everytime. I had made my choice. I’ll be a friend till the movie is over and then be a boyfriend till…..

Yats: Com’on. You’re not such a kid that you have to leave the screen when they are kissing.

I: Thanks, that felt good.

Yats: Err, I need a favour from you.

I: What ? Did I just hear ‘favour’ ? Oh, whats the deal today gawd !

Yats: Dont overact. Sheetal s gone out to the rest. When she comes back, make fun of me saying something so that I can pinch her cheeks.

I: What ?

Yats: Yeah, her cheeks are very attractive.

I: Just the cheeks you wanna pinch ?

Yats: Shut the fuck up.

I: Bastard, I wont. Now you know how it feels when you make fun of us and our girls.

Yats: (caught me by the collar) You fucking come in and do what I tell you to do.

Considering the fragile state of mind I was in, I obliged. Even otherwise, I would have.

> Me to Yats and Sheetal together.

Me: You guys ok ?

Sheetal: Yes.

Me: Rilly ? It sucks you guys are ok like this. When me and One were at the movie, we kissed n stuff.

Yats slowly put his hands around her head with his fingers walking on the backrest.

Me: Stop, right there. Before this catastrophe happens, lemme go back.

I turned around and started walking. The true gentleman that I am, I didnt look back. By the way, they kissed. Sorry Yats.

I didnt have to make any such negotiations with JD and Vids. When they enter their world, nobody can see anything… especially considering Vids’ circumference that hinders human vision. Rags and Ani… I dont even wanna start.

The movie was over and the guys seemed to have recovered from their thrash-party sooner than I had expected them to.

Yats to all : You guys go and wait at Arjun’s place. Manzoor will meet you guys there. Me and Arjun will come over in sometime.

Yats to me : I asked to you to talk about the cheeks.

I: Yeah, I did.

Yats: For fuck’s sake, she s not Pope that I will kiss her on the cheeks.

I: Son of a….

Yats: Ok..So, you drop Ananya and I drop Vids. Quick, before anyone sees us.

I: Stop talking like some thief. We are not committing some crime here.

Yats: Yeah, you keep saying that and Ananya’s parents will see her with you as well.

I: Alright, lets leave. Hang on, they kiss Pope on the hands, not on the cheeks.

Yats: Keep thinking as you drive….

I dropped Ananya off. As I neared home, I saw my gang standing on the roads around a body lying on the floor. There was this tall, dark and broad guy like Batman with them as well. The gang stood with their hands tied and heads hung. My heart almost stopped beating. They hit somebody with the bikes now ? Is that person dead or alive ? Why dont they take the damn person to the hospital ? Damn, we will have to give up nice clothes and food – wear striped clothes in prison and eat sambhar that looks like watercolour. I promised myself never to request Princi for uniform-waiver and never to argue with Mom on food. Could this day get any worse ? I parked my Dad’s bike and turned the key to lock it. The Hindu Goddess on the keychain shined on my face. If at all there was divine interception, I wish it came true at that moment.

I walked towards them and realised it was not a dead body. It was Batman’s bike’s shdaown. I breathed. Armani Exchange – Yes !

I: Whats the deal guys ?

Batman: Arjunnnnnnn, our dear guy.

Dear guy ? What, is he gonna hug me now ?

I: Hi, nice to see you.

Batman: I was just telling your guys here that they are driving too fast in our street.

I: Oh, are you the traffic cop ? (the last thing I needed on this day was to face moral-policing !)

Batman: You better mind your words.

Yats caught my hand, pulled me back, saying : No sarcasm with him, keep your mouth shut. He meant it.

Batman: There are children running around. Its dangerous.

I: Right. Which is easier Batman ? Stopping children running around or to stop driving on roads ?

Batman took a step towards me. My friends took a step away.

I: Hang on Batman. I just got your point. There s a difference between driving and speeding… and we are speeding. Right ?

Batman: Smart boy !

I: (Oh, temme something I dunno !) Its ok Batman.

Another guy came walking towards Batman : “Yeah, I also saw one of his friends performing stunts on his bike”

Right, now who is this guy ? Joker ?

JD: Whatever it is, we will control our speeds hereon.

Batman and myself exchanged cold looks. The convo later broke down into a casual chat on who does what and the ways of the world… to the extent Panky laughingly put his hands around Batman’s shoulders. Batman gave him a glare. It was time to go home.

JD: We’re going to Tumtum. Fast.

I: No dude, am not coming. You guys carry on.

They last thing they wanted was me whining there as well. My mind was elsewhere. The guys left… not before JD came up me, put his hands on my shoulder and said “You’re gonna be alryt. We are here”. Gawd, what will be life without friends.

I entered home and put my hand up towards Dad signifying ‘Hello’. I had not been home the entire day.

Dad : You have grown up since the last time I saw you.

I: Yeah, you too.

Dad: What ?

I nodded my head and went into my room. Minutes later, the phone rang. The phoneeeeeeeeeeeee.. this is the time when her mom goes out for walks…. Dad was
sitting about 3 steps away from the phone. But by the time he took those steps, I got up from my pc, opened my door, came running to the living room phone in a flash.

Dad: I wish you were this fast in other things as well.

I: H..H…Hello.

“Alluva sudden we decided to come to One’s house and talk to her brother for you. We are at her place now and we are requesting her brother to come down so that we can talk. I ll keep you posted but I have to go now. Bye..”

Me: Errrr … ?

What happened there ? That was Yats… from his ‘mobile’ phone. What are they doing at One’s place ? Why ? Talking to her brother ? Why ? Well, I should have done that long ago… By this time, I had completely lost track of what was happening. So much in one day ? I mean, save something for the other days. Will the goddamn clock strike 12, this day be over and people got to sleep…….. Minutes later, the phone rang again… Now what ?

I noticed the cordless phone was lying next to my PC all this while. Damn.

I: Hello

Yats: Its me.

I: Bark.

Yats: Mofo, we spoke to her brother and explained everything to him. Somehow, he seemed to understand. Atleast, he shook his head like he did. He said he ll talk to Arjun on Monday. Dont worry da, everything s gonna be alryt.

I: What are you saying ? He said tht. Well done guys. I was so afraid when you guys went there. Dont talk while you are driving. Go home and call. Bye.

I cut the call, dropped the phone on the bed and along with it, myself. All this was a lil too much to take in.. in one day. Everybody has gone home. Definitely, its over now. Just then, Mom entered the room, inviting me for dinner. When I looked at mom, I thought I should let her and Dad know about all this. I pulled my PC chair for her and sat by her. But before I could say a word, I put my head on her lap. I wanted to cry. I chose not to – the choices we make. I got up to tell her the story and later, tell Dad as well.

I started narrating the gist, starting from how One’s parents never knew about us talking… and then to One’s mom hitting her. I should have at some point got up and seen how Mom’s face was reacting to all this. She slapped me on my right cheek. It struck like thunder.. like a Tendulkar square cut. Once I got up from her lap, I should have moved away before narrating this story. A tear rolled down my cheek. Most of the stuff that Mom said was blurred out due to this siren still ringing in my right ear. But I picked up some phrases like ‘how dare you’.. ‘why would you’.. ‘that lil kid’. For some reason, One has always been a little kid for Mom. My mind observed that this was only the third time ever my mom had slapped me. Damn, throughout this day, my mind has kept throwing out useless pieces of information. Mom left. Any faint ideas of telling Dad about all this flew outta the window. He will kick me and then shoot me with me a Volka gun from point-blanc range for maximum impact. I am not going into that dinner room. I went to the mirror and noticed my cheek being proper red. But there were still no marks on the neck – that mark on her neck confuses me to this very day.

I lied down with the lights on. I refused to think about this day being over cos I expected something to pop from somewhere. I didnt call my Cal friends or Yats or my brother. What a day ! It started with exciting promise and energy with the movie plan, the girls forming their circle, me with One and so on. Actually, everything went to plan except that One was not with Me. The day twisted and turled like an India-Pakistan game. Jumping outta the bus, One crying,  ‘end of this’ crap, marks on her body, the movie and the couples, Yats’ games with Sheetal, Kapow! with Batman, gang at One’s place talking to her brother, and guess what ? – he accepted. Why didnt I talk to her brother if this was so easy ? I promised myself. I am gonna tell the guys about my relationship with One the next day. But for today, close of play it was. I slowly moved into dreamland.

I wished when I got up I would realise all this was a dream.. Oh wait, what if it actually is ? Dream within a dream – Inception, remember ???? Drop your comments on the half-year special. See you all next week. Till then, Fly high !!!

PS: Happy Birthday to Jolly Yip, Venky bro and Bala Muruga.

******************************

Yats had asked Sheetal out pretty much in his own way. Nobody knew how, when and stuff. That was the scenario with his relationship. People never knew what was happening with them. A completely low profile, media-shy affair. It needed him or her to let it out to somebody which never happened.. or someone had to leak it out in their private blogs… newes… They were together and going-out now. At least, I was not the only one day-dreaming, laughing on my own, saying no to going out with friends for weird reasons like phone-call, etc.

Panky was in a new zone now. As innovative as he is, he had started liking Tejal after listening to her voice for more than once. Tejal, if you guys remember, was Sheetal’s sister. Tejal, for some reason, was afraid to take the next step and was constantly holding back on Panky. One told me it was only natural for her to be sceptical about things as she didnt know Panky for long. One kinda helped me out things into perspective when it came to psychology of girls of that city. Just when relationships were getting busier and more dense by the day, there was equal distraction for us as well. The new subjects in 11th grade meant we were partially excited about new streams in our academic lives other than first war of independence, frog’s ass and places of black soil in India. One day, as my Dad put it days later, the unthinkable happened.

This was a quiet July friday evening when Dad came home early and he saw something strange. As he entered, there was no music or sports commentary. The tv and other means of mass media entertainment were shut. There was no one on the phone. Me, Yats and Panky were on the couch looking into our notebooks. There were open books scattered across the tables. The 3 of us were writing stuff on computer science, discussing HTML answers with full concentration. It was also a  subject that Yats liked, though he would still say no if asked to study. Apparently Dad stood there, seeing us talking answers for sometime without any crappy topic being discussed. Not that I noted, but when I saw Dad, I smiled, nodded my head and went back to < marque text > ways. Dad later told me that he suspected some creepy prank being setup for him and he thought we were acting like we were studying to make it look normal. But this was anything but normal. Just when Dad was probably feeling proud and began to put his hands to his mouth to start crying in joy like the Spain goalkeeper, the phone rang.

The phone – the official instrument of parent-son disharmony – was back in our lives. It didnt matter who it was cos Dad’s perfect picture was ruined and he would have to circle temples to experience this again. Just then, a plan was born. Normally plans and ideas were born at Yats’ place and would end up putting us in deep trouble. Maybe, this would be a lil different.

Me: How about a movie ?

Yats: Ok, when ?

Panky: Hang on, which movie ?

Me: Not the point.

Yats: O….k, what are you upto ? (with an expectant smile)

Me: Why dont we do a movie this time with our girls too ?

Yats: Oh, our girls ?

Panky: Then the ‘which movie’ doesnt matter. But how ?

Yats: No, wait. What do you mean ‘our girls’? Making One, Vids, Sheetal and Tejal sit by each other is not gonna be a great idea. Its not good for anyone’s health.

Panky: Yea, but I thought they will be sitting next to us in the movie… (laughs all around).

Me: Guys, seriously. Enough of silly hide and seek games. At some point, we all will need each other. Not just because of relationships but for various other reasons. This would be a good start to break the ice, let them get to know each other…

Yats: yea, so that the next time Arjun tells One that he was talking to Tejal, there wont be an extended silence followed by heavy breathing. (Yats and Panky hi5).

Me: What the hell. That actually serves me well. But think about it, just us – could be the best thing to make everything transparent for everyone.

Yats: Sounds good to me, but, wait. Panky, in that case, how many tickets are you gonna buy ? (Laughs, Yats and Me hi5).

Panky: I guess I have the option of choosing whom to invite. Sucks for you guys though.

Yats: Right, but then, how are we gonna do this ?

Me: Oh, that was gonna be my question to you.

The next hour saw some intensive planning on who make the numbers and how are they gonna make it to the screens. As much as it sucks, in the town we were in, people’s minds were not as open as their hearts were. Again, because everyone knows everyone, they would find a kid they recognise and well, we know what happens next… and most of the times, that kid happens to be Yats. So, it was only meaningful that I let him make the plan.. so that when things screw up and he gets caught, we cud say guilt-free : “It was his plan aunty”.

Not that the structure of the plan matters, but this one hour of planing is something that has shaped my plans ever since. We created a layout, whereby every girl would say she s at the other girl’s place. In this way, there was no need to involve anyone who was not at the movie. Thus, it safeguards us from intruders and from the plan leaking out. We planned a beautiful chain of events, wherby one would lead to another and at the end of it, the cast would be there for the screening on time and safely. It was time… for One to call.

One: Oh, the plan sounds good but a little scary.

Me: Dont worry, we will make it happen… like last time.

One: Ok, cool with me.

(moments later on the phone)

Yats: So please dont screw up, DO NOT tell anyone unwanted and DO keep it as a secret.

One: Sure. Btw, once you guys are done, can you drop the HTML notes at my place ?

Yats: All the way to your place ?

One: You go ‘all the way’ to Arjun’s place everyday but cant come here ?

Yats: Yeah, stop it, I will. (end of convo).

The next few mins saw us contacting the relevant people and passing the blue-print on. JD was up for it as always and was ecstatic as ever. Couldn’t see how a classroom or movie screen were any different for him. So, now most of them knew about it. We would inform the rest in school to the people who we coudlnt reach in the evening.

We were all super-excited about the plan. This would be my first movie with One after I had asked her out. It was also at the back of my mind that the guys dint know about it and I planned on tellin them on Sunday after the movie at Yats’ place.I was also happy of the vision that if the girls get along with each other, this whole thing would be a fun place. There was a general feeling of excitement inside me – friends were never an issue, but now I have a girl, hopefully by the next week, my friends would know that too, the gang will flow with the girls knowing each other better, the new subjects were interesting and we didnt suck at it. I laid down visualising the scene of the group together at a place, me with my one and only One, ahem ahem. It was probably a very satisfied and peaceful sleep I had that night.

As
Yats put it : “We are making all these plans, with so much risk for us and each other.Hopefully everything works out well. Guys, remember, we dont have an option – we definitely cant screw up this time”. We all knew that – like every other mischief we did and so shrugged the warning off. Maybe, because it was Yats advising. Maybe, we shouldn’t have.

The sequence of events before boarding the school bus and getting to school was normally chaotic for me and today was no different. It was a Saturday -  a half working day followed by a movie.. with the girls.. and the guys. There was the normal nervous energy running inside me as I hi5-ed the guys at school and started walking in.

I was near the main building when I noticed One with Yats’ li’l cousin brother. One’s eyes looked very sleepy with a kinda hung face. Yats’ li’l brother came towards me and said with a serious face, “What are you gonna do” and left. One’s hung face got up and I saw what I didnt want to see. Those were not sleepy eyes but moist ones. She looked at me and that very moment, shook her head negatively, burst into a pool of tears and turned away. I stood there clueless, with my girlfriend crying in the middle of the whole school in the mainyard. My schoolbag slipped out of my hands. Maybe that was a sign. Things had slipped out of my hands too….

See ya all in the sequel, next week – for sure. Fly high till then.

PS: Happy Birthday to Sejal Shah, Rahul Khanna, Aishwarya Ganesh and Bharat Uncle. Welcome to the world, Jenny.

******************

These instances occur very rarely in a lifetime and its for this reason that this has taken a special seat in my in-built memory card. Dad had temporarily suspended his first love – newspapers and had taken the effort to make breakfast for me. I mean, it was just cereal, but I appreciated the effort. I suspiciously took the bowl and began examining the stuff, I couldnt exactly understand the actions. Rewind a little and maybe there was an explanation. I had woken up at 6′o clock, and after some lazy tv-watching and push-ups, I had an enjoyable bath and was all dressed up for school. It was probably the only time this happened in my schooling career and Dad was there with his token of recognition. He was surprised by my actions and I was baffled with his reaction. But most confused was mom. She stood there shocked by what she had just witnessed between father and son. It was embarrasing for me to be caught in a moment of truce with dad and I fled the scene. I left home all motivated and pumped up by the events over breakfast and I needed every bit of this encouragement. This was gonna be a special day. WHY ?

People who know me will tell you that I wake up this early either when I am nervous/excited or for a travel journey. People who dont know me will not. In this case, it was the former. Its not very often that I wanted to rush things with girls…. I mean ‘girl’. You know where I am heading. Obviously. There s no way anything like examinations, trouble in school or police enquiry would apprehend me anymore. It has to be something close to my heart… like a football match, last samosa left… or a gal. All along, I have taken a very long time before opening up to a girl. This was a lil’ different and strange. It felt like the time taken was short cos it was only 8 months since I knew the girl. But it felt like it was very long cos I knew almost everything about the girl. Well, I am not the first over-confident guy to make that mistake and I promise you, wont be the last.

Every step I took towards the bus point, into the classroom, thorugh the corridors, there was only one thought occupying the space between my ears. Multiple evaluations of the risk and return profile of this venture were running and the stakes were very high. All the time, I had the result I wanted. Finally, I made up my mind and decided to practice what I preach – make this things clear and transparent for both of us, give myself and us a chance. Tell her. Now, while making such decisions, I would normally consult my council of ministers including the local gujju Birbal. But this time, I wanted it to be my call and more importantly I wanted her to know this first. Afterall, if she does throw a ‘No’ and then a slipper, I can avoid the embarrasment infronta my folks, to whom I can say, “I never liked her that way”.

I managed nervous smiles to a few people and maintained a very low profile in the class. Perhaps, a rare instance where I remained silent for this long, but I knew, if there was a ‘yes’, there will a lot more instances. She was hanging about with her frens – things seemed to be normal with her. It was the small break and I went upto her for the big moment. I took a deep breath and Mason started a convo with her. Shuks… it was like rain disturbing an exciting cricket match you were waiting to watch. I thought to myself – the lunch break is always there and good food will definitely give me more confidence. Another 80 mins to go. The clock ticked by slowly and nervously like defending a one goal lead in extra time. Einstein’s theory of relativity made more sense that ever. The slowness of the time was strongly and inversely co-related to the speed of my heartbeat. The lunch bell rang and my heart almost came out thru my mouth. This was it, I couldnt take it anymore. When it came to the moment of truth, the ever truthful was missing. I could not find her in her usual zones of green-grazing. I was in no mood to play hide and seek. Ah, I found her. It was destined that our chemistry was to be tested out in the Physics lab.

I had not prepared any lines in advance. I definitely did not carry a red rose. All I had was my heavy heart with a lot of thoughts blossoming in them and I wanted it to be natural. She stood by one of the many tables playing with a transparent ruler. I thought to myself – “If I could make things transparent to her, I will be the ruler” – whatay analogy !!! Though ppl in the lab were busy with their own ‘things’, for some reason I felt like everybody’s eyes were on me like Tendulkar walking into Eden Gardens for a tournament final. Completely unromantic objects like compass, Ohm’s meter and Hare’s apparatus added to my confidence. I always considered myself a decent speaker but I could not find any words in the language. Finally, I did.

Me: Hi.

One: Took you so long to say this ???

Me: What ?

One: What what ?

Me: Hang on… I am here to say something.

One:………………..

Her silence gave me some time to re-gather myself. She stood there patiently playing the ruler. I looked up at her. There was expectation, desperation and an elegant longing in her eyes. I saw a lithium-like sensation by the end of her cheek, outlining her face, inviting me closer to them. She was smelling more fragrant than ever. Her body seemed more upright than ever before. If at all I needed some reassurance, I had it now. Once again I took a deep breath, took Mom’s name for courage and slowly spoke out making sure she understood every word clearly.

Me: For the past few days, I have been telling you about this girl I am beginning to like. Its you, One. I love you. Will you please be with me ?

One: Yes, but after 25 years.

Me: (my mind slowly did the Maths. 16+25= 30+11=41). 41 years ? Isnt that a lil’ old ?

One: (LOL) No, I meant after we turn 25 years.

I did not understand the logic but did not want any. She drowned herself in an ocean of shyness and looked at everything else except me. I could see she was happy. Then she stopped, looked up at me and then smiled widely and uncontrollably again. Thank goodness she did, cos had she told the above lines without a smile, I would have probably gone down on both my knees and stayed there for many more days to come. Both of us were smiling for the next many moments with happiness, in relief and most importantly, in love. I couldnt stop looking at her  bending and waving and trying differnt postures to cover her face. I wanted to grab her right there and kiss her. Surprisingly, I still had the brains not to do it, considering the trouble it might cause. In hindsight, thinking of all the trouble that was caused anyways, maybe I shud have just done it. This was the first time of many when I wanted to say/ do something which would have been more apt and ‘romantic’ but never did. I never knew how such ‘cute and cuddly’ stuff were done. I was never good at it. Maybe, if I had let self-control loose and gone ahead with my words and actions, the relationsip would have turned out a lot different. But then, hindsight is blindsight.

I did not have lunch. She did. Perhaps, one of the few things I would sacrifice food for. Both of us returned to the classroom, me with a lighter heart. I didnt couldnt help looking at her for many different reasons. I felt like I had the RIGHT, not that the teachers would accept that as an excuse:-

Teacher: Arjun, why are u looking at her ?

Me: I have the right.

Teacher: I’ll slap you tight.

Me: Ya right.

Teacher: RIGHT now, get outta my class.

This was one day that I never wanted to end. We could not talk on phone that evening. In spite of the day’s happenings, we did not have enough of it. Her mom did not go out for a walk that evening. Given the turn in the tale, we needed to talk more than ever. I dont remember where I spent the rest of the evening – must have been at Yats’ place. It was obviously not the ideal and perfect proposal. All I know is it worked for me. Knowing One as well as I do (I dare say that), maybe she would have liked it a lil’ different. Not ‘knee and ring’ style excatly, but atleast more suited words and expressions and not silly number -based questions amidst voltmeters with an electrocuted look on my face.

Thinking about it now, if I had the chance to prepare the lines in advance, I probably would have done a more ‘picturesque and scenic’ job. I am not sure I would have spoken them though. I wish I could get another chance. I wish I could go close to her, take her hands to my heart that she feels it beating like base drums. I wish I could look into her and tell her that I tried my best not in fall in love with you but am afraid I have failed. You have pulled me towards you with some never-experienced force of density and passion. You are away and I long. You are with me and I want more. You have become an addiction for me. I have heard people saying ‘you complete me’. But I am hollow without you. I am not sayin that I am different or my love is special – I dont know. All I know is you are special and I love you. I cant forget you. I dont want to forget you. It is selfish but the truth – I need you. I want us to go through every minute together cos I dont want you to turn any moment and not find me beside you. The first time you smiled at me was a merciless attack on my innocence, shelter and conscience and ever since, every word I speak is a pathetic attempt to make you smile. The time I spend with you is a bliss and not many people are lucky enough to experience this heavenly blessing being on earth. Without any impractical promises, I only want us to be together. Not only cos I want to make you smile, protect you, spoil you and make love to you for all you like, but I just want us to be together.

As good as these lines might or might not sound, I could have never told these to her. But then, I just wish I could have… Everytime I think back, I picturise her as a sweet lil child, loving whom is not forced. It flows naturally out of you like rain falling from the kingdom of heaven. A child that I wish never grew up.

She’s got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I’d stare too long
I’d probably break down and cry

She’s got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I’d hide
And pray for the thunder
And the rain
To quietly pass me by

Sweet child o’ mine
Sweet love of mine*

Do a favour and please leave your comments, now that the IPL is over, you have no excuse. Come back next week as return to Maverick ways. I leave you with the ever-so-brilliant, video of the above song’s original from one of my favourite bands below. As Slash strings the guitar, till next week, Fly High !!!

PS: Belated birthday wishes to Dad, J.Dhinesh Kumar, Savy, Gunjan Agarawal, Shobha, Rajiv Sai, Viswesh, Pankaj Tejwani, Sunny Mehta, Mahjabeen Ali and Sneha Wadhwani. A very happy birthday to Lucy. Miss you Neelam.

*- Guns N’ Roses (1988), Appetite for Destruction.

Of all the days, that particular monday was very irritating. It was time for the school assembly. Its a trait of schools in our part of the world. School children, all together, the entire school standing with hands clasped to their back like they were waiting to be guillitoned by Hitler. Most faces look fresh, most smell of lavender-flavoured talculm powders and others smell of the breakfast they have had. The students dressed up in uniform clothes, ofcos with some like Yats in sports shoes getting uncaught and some like Kumar with the right bur dirty shoes and still getting caught. Ha!

Assembly meant that we had to fight the scorching sun of the southern peninsula as we tried to close our eyes and think of God. If someone fainted during the morning assembly under the hot sun, they just left them there on the ground… Only to be trampled over later as we marched back to our classrooms to the beat of a mildly hypnotizing drum. (Ok I exaggerate. They sent the receptionist to pick up the kids, who then took them to the biology lab, drugged them and then sold them to this kidney racket out of Coimbatore).

Students are discussing strange things. You wud wonder on the topics that range in the assembly hall. Most talk about the cricket match last evening. Some sulk about exams and are tense about the questions. Other cant be bothered less as they have their examination ‘strategy’ worked out. Height was a perinnial assembly problem. Its one of those times that make you feel very conscious about the incremin disfunctionality in your body. Short ones like Dars and XXL ones like JD and Prav always had reasonable trouble, I thought, occupying the two ends of the line. The medium ones like Me, Yats and the lot were safe amidst the protection of others. So much so that, even if Yats and me decided go on a duet song and dance for the school song, we could do it and people around us would still be listenin to mundane, out-dated and sad-ass speeches on ‘Rain water harvesting’ – a permanent bore.
Brings us to speeches – one of the more interesting things in an assembly. Our school had a system, whereby, everyday there would be one speech. Mostly english, sometimes in the local language – tamil. If observed, the speeches had a pattern to them. Over a week, they would cover topics of Society, current events – rain-water harvesting, tree planting and such civic assignments that the school undertook and sometimes, age-old theories in science that was inversely proportional to the thoughts of Kumar and JD, in spite of being science students. Speaking has been one of my favourite arts – not just on stage but generally. Ask my friends and they would tell you that I speak… quite a lot, to put it reasonably. Ahem. No matter what, I always stand voicing my opinion, mostly at the wrong time. As I established myself in the school, I became prominent in the assembly scene. To the extent that, everytime II std. kids saw me lining up on stage, they would come with a pillow, ready to continue their sleep that was cut short by the fear of missing school bus. As an anecdote, I always felt sorry for them. What would they understand about harvesting, somebody has just sown them on earth. Why clip their innocent and lovely dreams short and deprive them of precious sleep that they will miss when they grow into irresponsible, drunkard teenagers. I guess, at their age, they are forced into everything almost – by parents, teachers, elder brothers, relatives, even the bus conductors sometimes.

Newes, coming back to speeches, I always thought that speeches made out of books, articles and so on about academic topics and out of newspapers for social issues would just bring you tick marks and dull looks that dont mean anything when they applaud at the end. They were lectures. And the next word that comes to your mind when I say lectures is, of course, ‘BORE’ (No Yats, not ‘bunking’). Exactly why the students get dis-interested. For me, it is such a nice opportunity when the entire school is together for you to present something informative, thought-provoking and entertaining. Even if a speech achieves one of the above, that would be useful. I have always tried to tailor my speeches. I try to express my opinions and views on something. Not that the student lot cares, but they can read theory of relativity and dowry harrasement from many other sources if they want to. But, my speech would be a point of view on a topic -  my point of view ofcos. Its gonna make them think – they might agree , they might not. But they do have an opinion about a topic, they did not know about 2 mins earlier. When they applaud or they dont, they have a reason behind it.

Thats a reason people would find so much of emotion in my speeches – not that I make the Principal cry with my lines or laugh out so loud that the echo scares away the animals in the Emerald Valley but I only talk about topics I strongly feel about. I was very shy as a kid… I still am to an extent. If I remember, my first speech ever was in V standard when I started comin out of my shell. The topic – Honesty is the best policy. When I finished and walked down knowing I had forgotten some important lines, along a crowd that was busy shivering in the Calcutta winter, I realised that I was being dishonest about the entire speech as those were not what I believed in. My father prepared the speech and brother perfected it. I was only a mouth-piece for the Sundars – not my opinion – no emotion – screwed up speech with forgotten lines – audience busy digging their nose after munching Bhel puri. What a loser I felt like.

Years later, when rationalism had taken over, my first speech in GG was a little different. Mala mam had assigned me with the topic – ‘Kalpana Chawla – A brave soul’. This was after the lady had passed away in a tragedy miles down the milky way. I asked:-

I: Can I rephrase the topic as ‘Kalpana Chawla and her courageous moonwalk’ ?

Mala M: No dear, Corres wont be happy with it. She proposed the topic.

I: (Thinking what on earth she had to do with my speech..) But I will write my own speech, is that ok ?
 
Mala M: More than ok, I am happy you are taking the initiative at such an early…. (not important)

I spoke about what she and her achievement meant to me. Thats what I was shariing with my mates. Ever since, my speeches have always been my take on a topic – Peace is the need of the hour, Indian Education system, Attitude, Todays’ youth, Sachin Tendulkar, etc.

Some liked it. Some didnt. I never had regrets. I never read books. I never forgot lines cos I never memorised them at the first place. They were within me. Even if some hyper-active, whiz kid were to question me during the assembly, I could give them an answer. As controversial as some were, I felt my audience liked it judging from the way they applauded, they smiled, nodded, etc. Of course, my school had a bad tendency to make you believe things easily but wrongly.

So other than the likes of strong topics like ‘Today’s Women’ by Vids, informative topix like ‘CAS’ by Neel, where he famously stood like a Vivekananda Statue tilting at 60′ backwards as mocked by Yats, Niyanth and many others and cheeky ones like ‘Smile’ by a III standard kid called Siddarth, I found the others very cliche and repetitive. I mean no offence to any fellow-speakers and I definitely dont mean to brag about the average speeches I made during school. As opinionated as this sounds, thats how I have always been – during my speeches and other takes on life like prayer songs.

I can see the question coming up in some faces – “Now, what problem do you have with them ?”

Well, I dont have a problem with them. I just have a question. What if I am an atheist ? or What if the song is from some other religion ? I dont need mahatma-esque answers, carrying intensive words like ‘unity’, ‘tolerance’ and the lot. Why would someone sing a prayer song that is not about their religion when their own religion bans worshipping other Gods ? This might sound extremist to some but is actually affecting somebody’s liefstyle… which to me, is far more important than a set of fundamental rules set out by a bunch of autocratic administrators many years ago and has been wrongly brought down by generations.

If the idea is to pray, then ‘Students can silently pray for the next two minutes’ would be more effective and purposeful according to me. One of my previous schools had an interesting concept – everyday after the assembly, the students would get back to their classes (obviously..) and have a two-minute meditation. This not only helps them pray but also serves to bring their concentration back into the classroom. I am not endorsing this but implying that there are more effective ways to remember God and invoke His blessings than force young students into singing praises of other religion Gods in a 24 X 24 arena. Think about it.

Ofcourse, there were fun parts in the assembly too. Some students did not mind getting fried in the sun as they could enjoy the tan on the skin of their favourite girls from other classes (mostly senior), who they wouldnt come across otherwise. These were also the ones that would scream out wroung answers during the assembly quiz loudly and confidently, just to seek attention.

Quiz: Who was the first Australian to win the Nobel Prize in Economics ?

Boy Hero 1: Ricky Pontinggggg.

Crowd amazed. Shoulders and necks turn. Cute Girl 1 also looks out.

Boy Hero 1: Yes, she saw me. (High Five’s all around…)

Cute girl 1: What a dimwit !
 

   There were also sweet birthday songs sung for the B-day kids after which, as a tradition ofcos, they wud present a book they have no clue about, that is 300 pages thick with porn magazines hidden in between. The Principal would open it and look at it like she s gonna start reading that moment at 312,543 words per  minute, sees the magazine inside and safely puts it in her handbag. Its only Above 18, ryt ?

The assembly was one where Yats’ lil sis wud come, sing the school song on a day we all are proud about our ‘houses’. My last year saw Mercury – JD and my house, winning and Jupiter – Yats and One’s house coming last. Ha, Sole on losers !!! The school song, well, Rajiv famously made a punk rock version of it, for which he went on to receive the Maverick Award for Offensive Literature.

More than everything, about this time, the assembly was a time, when I could see One, again. It was very different to see her in daylight. Though most of the time, she was happily taking shelter in the shade, at times, when the Sun’s rays did fall on her, she looked magical. When she gradually walks along the line from shadow to light, she illuminates the place with her gloss and brightens up my day. Her skin would reflect a golden umbrella all round her, blurring out her companions from the Homo sapiens family. She would look at me from the corner of the eye, realise am seeing her and then revert with a small smile, edging by the skin of her teeth. Its the like my prayer in the assembly almost comes to life by the time it is finished.

Ofcourse, formally, the assembly would end when Princie walks up to the mic and announces: “Tomorrow’s Saturday will be a half-working day and Tuesday’s time-table would be followed. Normal uniform and no colour dress (staring at Yats and Me)”.

PS: This edition, of course, has been a real rave, rant and vent session. Not the story-tellin me, but these were my opinions and wanted to share them with you, my wonderful audience. If you itching to applaud, you can always attach audio files – please use only .wav format. And if you are having a sensation to fling rotten eggs and burn my effigees, you are never too far away from a wall.

Please let me know your comments on everything above. I understand my apology for this gap wont count, so am not making one. The next edition is already written, so thats guaranteed, this time, next week. – Its something very close to my heart, so hope to see you all there. School Disperse! Fly High Till Next Week ~

Belated birthday wishes to Arun, Amruta, Vishwanath, Sukanya, Renate, Neels, Dars, Karan Sanky, Abeje and Divya.